Where are YOU along the Journey?

I continue to be amazed and fascinated by this process, this journey towards "wellness" and health.

I don't know if I'll ever achieve "optimal health" but it's certainly a wonderful-sounding GOAL, isn't it? ("Optimal health" includes FINANCIAL health. OH BOY do I have a ways to go on that! LOL)....

In the meantime, right now? For me? I'll be happy just to maintain my weight! LOL....

But ain't it the truth? We all have our different GOALS...and they depend greatly on WHERE WE ARE along the way.

Moreover, we all listen to what we WANT to listen to....what we NEED to listen to....depending on WHERE WE ARE along the way.

For instance, when I first started here? When people used terms like 'food addict'?  I'd get annoyed.
"What, ME? No way! I'm just....fat!"
So I had an eating problem. Big deal.

"OK, OK -- call it a food addiction if you want, but sheesh....so I love chocolate! Doesn't EVERYONE?  I just eat too much of it, that's all....shut UP already with the addiction stuff."  LOL

BUT...as time went on and I started to get into my own head and unravel my cravings, and defuse them one by one, sometimes painfully...sometimes easily...I started to understand.
I 'got it'.

YES, I'm a food addict....because I want to eat EVEN WHEN I'M PHYSICALLY FULL. 

YES, I'm a food addict because those brownies will CALL me in the middle of the night. Whereas my husband? A 'normal' eater? Forgets they are even THERE! (totally foreign concept to me LOL...)

As we progress, step by step...if we're willing to look inside our own heads and really think about our eating and our emotions and what's going through our heads when/where/how/what we eat....we start to realize, slowly but surely....that maybe this is just a BIT more complicated than we thought.

Maybe it's not JUST about losing the weight.

Losing weight is a BY PRODUCT, the end RESULT, of all the work we do...but the GOAL is to change our eating habits from the inside out and THAT.TAKES.TIME.

People rant and rave about how they want to be 'done' already.

But what they want is to reach goal weight....which is NOT the same as being 'done'.

Being 'done' means you don't view food as the be-all and end-all anymore. Being 'done' means you see food as nutrition. PERIOD.

That's a hard concept. It's STILL a hard concept for me. But I'm getting there.

So whenever you read blogs or forum posts, if something seems 'foreign' to you? If you're ranting and raving against it and screaming 'NO, that's NOT ME'....
then....hmmm.....maybe it's something to think about...'later on' in your journey. 

RELAX.
This takes time. It is a totally UNIQUE process, unique to every individual.  And it takes a varying amount of time for each of us.

EACH of us has to hit certain stages along the way:

Stage 1: - We're excited, we're happy, we're motivated, we're all prepared and gung ho, we GOT this....yay I'm following it, ugh some of the meals are yucky but I'm persisting...what's with this headache? Oooh I feel lightheaded when I work out..what? I should wait? Oh, OK....man I'm so HUNGRY though -- when does that go away?

Stage 2: - YES YES I lost some weight, lots of weight the first week and I feel like I could FLY! The headache is gone, I'm NOT hungry, WOOHOO this plan is GREAT!  WOW!
SHOUT it from the mountaintops!

Stage 3: - Wait a minute. I only lost 1/2 lb this week! WAAAH....what's happening? What am I doing wrong? My friend lost 4 lbs! How come I didn't? I ate the SAME THINGS! It's NOT FAIR!

Stage 4: - OK, so every body is different...OK, the scale fluctuates....OK I better stop weighing daily, I'm driving myself nuts. This is all OK, I just have to relax, be patient...jeez, how many more months before I'm at goal? When will I SEE the weight loss? I feel it myself but NOBODY IS NOTICING!  Waaah....it's not fair! I'm working so hard!

Stage 5: - WOW I'm getting compliments! But wait, I told them I was doing Medifast and I got all kinds of GRIEF. Sheesh, leave me alone already, it's working for me! Stop pushing food at me! WOW, my clothes really ARE getting looser! Do I give them away or keep them? I'm scared...what if I regain? But I'm doing great....starting to branch out a little on my meals and try some new things...WOW this plan is awesome!

Stage 6: - OK, I've GOT this going out to dinner thing down! I went out and stayed OP! WOOHOO!  And I said NO to my biggest food pusher! I'm so dang PROUD of myself! PLUS I bought a new pair of jeans that were like 2 sizes SMALLER!  YAY!  I'm still wondering how come I'm not losing like my friend, but that's OK. It's weird the way the scale fluctuates. And when it's that TOM, UGH...it's awful....starting to understand when to just RELAX...need to start exercising, I think.

Stage 7: - I've started to exercise and I'm SO out of shape, ugh...but I'm hanging in there. HOW COME I'm so HUNGRY afterwards, though? I thought I was gonna pass out at one point. What? I can have extra lean? How much? When? Oooh gotta look this up...OK so I can have 2 ozs. extra, won't I gain though? Maybe I'll try it...WAIT the scale went UP! How come the scale went up?

Stage 8: - OK so weighing immediately after exercise isn't a good idea. OK I got this now, the extra lean helps...I feel better...and WOW my inches ARE getting lower!  I actually have to buy smaller jeans again! WOW I can't believe it I actually was able to fit into the (insert whatever here) again! And I could (insert task you could NOT do before)

Stage 9: - Getting myself all stressed out over (insert emotional event here). What to do? I can't handle it OP....or CAN I?  Gotta get ready...assemble my MF meals, be prepared...I can DO THIS.

Stage 10: - OK now I can eat out like a Pro....I can get through trying situations, I've GOT this.

Stage 11: - I'm doing it but the weight loss is slowing...Oh NO I'm in a weight loss STALL! Waaah when does THIS end?  What should I do?  More water? Lower carb greens, leaner proteins? Ugh this sucks....when will my weight loss resume, I'm killing myself here and where is GOAL already?

Stage 12: - OK my weight still is going slow but I understand now, it's a PROCESS, it's where my HEAD is at that's important. OK, I see it now...I AM a food addict...YES carbs set me off....YES I can't ever eat (insert fav sludge item here) again....that makes me sad but I WANT to be healthy, I WANT a slim body so it's worth it!  I can do this....slowly but surely...over the LONG HAUL

Stage 13: - YAY I'm finally at GOAL!  I DID IT!  WOOHOO!!!!
On to Transition!

Stage 14: - Transition is SCARY. OMG. Where are the directions? Where is the support? Everyone's doing something different! What do I DO? How do I handle this? How many weeks should I do it? What's the deal with fruit, how many again? Wait, how do I figure out 1/2 cup of butternut squash? Oh there's a veggie weight chart? Wow look at all these charts and stuff....I never realized....WOW this is really complicated....I'd better take it slow, step by step....

Stage 15: - Getting through Transition....WOW this is FUN! I got to eat (insert transition food group here) again! And it was AWESOME! I didn't even need all the usual goop I used to put on it, it tasted wonderful just as the WHOLE FOOD!  WOW, eating natural is great....I'm appreciating healthy foods more than ever...I'm changing my life, this is AWESOME, I will NEVER EVER go back to eating the way I was before, YUCK, I hate greasy fast food now! Won't go NEAR IT!

Stage 16: - Got through Transition! YAY! I'm in maintenance! I GOT THIS!

Stage 17: - WAIT....this isn't as easy as I thought...whatdayaMEAN the scale will fluctuate! I NEED it to stay the same EVERY SINGLE DAY. And it isn't! My body is betraying me! I worked so hard, I can't gain, I just CAN'T....OMG I gained 4 lbs, I better go back on the 5/1, but OMG that's too HARD....what do I do NOW?

Stage 18: - Relaxing....understanding that this, too, is a process, it's a journey, I have to work with my food plan and adjust it for ME. We are all unique. I have to figure out my triggers and eliminate them! My experiments with processed food...UGH...NO THANK YOU....I'm doing better with the real thing...I can't go back to eating like that anymore. But working out what works and what doesn't isn't easy...I never know when I'll have that carb monster kicked off!

Stage 19: - OK, I've identified several triggers...they are OFF MY LIST PERMANENTLY.  I'm relaxing a bit more...the scale DOES fluctuate but I'm STILL in control....gotta remember, this is a LIFELONG process, it's still a journey, I have to remember that....several family members have asked about the plan and I'm trying to help them but they SO don't want to, they want a quick fix. I know now it's NOT a quick fix!

Stage 20: - Successfully maintaining, adhering to my food plan that I've developed and sometimes STILL need to refine depending on what's become a 'trigger food'...it's weird the way I can eat certain foods at certain times but at other times I get SO hungry...I'm learning to identify those times...and still working on my emotions and the fact that I'll ALWAYS will be a food addict, I've just learned how to CONTROL it, that's all. ETERNAL VIGILANCE is what's needed.

Stage 21: - FOOD IS JUST NUTRITION! That's all!  I don't need 'delicious' anymore. I get my kicks from LIFE, not from food anymore. Food doesn't fix anything, it doesn't solve anything, it doesn't 'make it all better'....in fact if it's too good and I start salivating over it or thinking about it too much, OUT IT GOES because it's dangerous!

Stage 22: THIS IS A LIFELONG PROCESS!  I GET IT NOW!

Stage 23: I can't 'experiment'. My food plan RULES -- but it has to be FLUID....it's ever-changing depending on where my head is at and what's happening in my life and what food triggers I'm having THIS week.  But certain foods are totally off my radar and they will remain that way. And I have to find the right balance....so that I DON'T have cravings anymore. Too much sugar, too many carbs is deadly.
Certain 'rules' are forever....64 ozs of water, eating 6x a day, the basic nutrition of 40/40/20....I'm getting it.....

Stage 24: I have to always keep the end in mind....it's UP TO ME to keep my body in good working order, it's UP TO ME to maintain my weight....I can't do it just to 'look good', either...I have to do it for my HEALTH and HAPPINESS OVERALL because of the FREEDOM from my food addiction which is the best thing of all!

Stage 25: Now I can help others along the way....Now I 'Get it'. 

Stage 26: I still have more to learn...there will ALWAYS be more to learn...but I understand now, this was MUCH MUCH MORE THAN A "DIET"....THIS WAS A WAY TO CHANGE MY LIFE!  PERMANENTLY!

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This is just my 'rough idea' of the stages of this journey...and again, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. "Where you are" along the way varies...and WHEN you get to each 'stage' varies as well!

....so where are YOU along the journey? 

Remember, if you read a blog that you don't understand, or a forum post, and you're thinking "I'll NEVER get to where she is", remember that this IS a journey. And that person may simply be further along the journey, that's all.

You have to follow your own path in your own way in your own good time.

The "Stages" I listed above are only a guideline, of course. We can (and do!) stumble and fall along the way, too...sometimes we talk ourselves into 'taking a break'....sometimes we give UP completely and enter BINGE CITY and don't emerge again until we've regained a LOT of the weight (or even ALL of the weight)....it all depends on how open our HEADS are to LEARNING what we need to learn, WHEN we need to learn it.

My coach has a saying, 'When the student is ready, the teacher appears'....and I've found that to be true, over and over again.

Often she has blogged about something or said something and I've been like, 'Say WHAT? No way....I'm not there yet.'

And I kind of ... disagree in my own way, in my own head.

BUT....I'm thinking about it the whole time, turning it over in my mind....and when I'm READY to hear it, when I've had enough LIFE EXPERIENCES (and eating experiences, and FAILURES!...) to finally be 'ready' to hear it...I will remember it and it will suddenly ring SO TRUE I'll want to jump up and down about it.

And she sits back and smiles....because she KNEW it, she knew I'd get there....I just had to give it time. And have the experiences 'first'.

And she also knows that SHE felt that way herself, 'way back when'.

Because we are all at different points along the line.

The next time you feel like ranting or raving...or criticizing...THINK very hard before you speak....because chances are you simply aren't READY to hear whatever the lesson is.

And granted....there are some people out there who take things to extremes. That almost goes with the territory. We're 'extremists' by nature. We don't want a piece of pie, we want FOUR pieces. We aren't going to 'just' follow the program, we are going to be RELIGIOUS about it and so 100% OP just WATCH ME WIN THE CONTEST to see who can 'do it better' (LOL).  We're competitive, we're "Type A"s, we're wanting it all done NOW right NOW, we're impulsive, we're COMPULSIVE, we're impatient with everyone, ESPECIALLY ourselves.

But we need to stop and RELAX a bit. Understand that this is a long,  long journey...it's a process....and it's OK if it takes you years and years to 'get it'.  Because if you keep trying, you WILL eventually get it! It's inevitable. Your brain is always working overtime, even when you least expect it. It's turning over the information you heard...weighing it...deciding if it's 'true' or not. And comparing it to your OWN experiences.

Keep on keepin' on....keep reading, keep commenting, keep THINKING....because THAT is how to GET.IT.DONE.

(It's not always about the food, right?  LOL).....

--
Linda
Linda Leiby
angiecat6@comcast.net