A Full Plate...and an Empty Heart

Two years ago I stared down at my huge plateful of food...and sighed.
I had a full plate...but an empty heart.

I married the love of my life, and he's wonderful, but something was still.... missing in my life.
I had no GOALS, no ambition. I felt like I just ‘took up space’. I was a intelligent, capable adult, but felt like my life had no meaning. My career as a Systems Manager with a large company was over, due to a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I couldn’t even walk up a flight of stairs without being in agony. And I missed working. I’d worked my way up having 20 people working under me. And I LOVED my job!

So I sat at home and stuffed myself and worried, and wondered…‘Who am I?’ ‘What did I want?’

I’d been battling my weight for so many years that frankly, I was sick and tired of it! I’d even had a few years where I TOTALLY ‘gave up’, and told anyone who’d listen that ‘diets don’t work for me’ and refused to go on another. (Of course all this did was give my ‘fat brain’ tacit approval to eat whatever she wanted, and therefore I got FATTER….)

I "used" food for other uses....other than nutrition. As a companion, a problem-solver, a stress-reliever, an anger-expresser/squelcher, a frustration-reliever, to ‘feel better’, to keep busy, ‘foodutainment’….you name it.

Food was my FRIEND, when no one else was. That jar of Skippy was always there. And I could always count on it to taste the same, to fill my stomach and make me feel 'less empty' inside.  I HATED myself every time I reached for that jar, but I didn’t know how to stop!

A little voice inside kept whispering that there was a REASON for all of this. I was convinced (still am!) that I was given this cross to bear...this food addiction, and then the fibromyalgia on TOP of it (which of course makes physical exercise more of a challenge)...for a reason.

I didn't know what that reason was, but I felt positive that it had something to do with my purpose in life.

Enter Medifast and the Take Shape for Life program.

This literally was my 'last try’ before gastric bypass surgery. 
I was THAT desperate.

I committed to doing the program for one full month. I would follow all the rules and just ‘see’. Of course I was ‘convinced’ that it wouldn’t work….why should it, nothing else did!...but I decided to give it a fair shake.

And I was flabbergasted when I lost weight – WEEK ONE, and … KEPT losing! 
ME! 
The woman who GAINED weight on Weight Watchers! (yep...!)

Me. The carb fiend. The sweets fanatic. The peanut butter lover.

I LOST weight. At age 58. With ‘metabolic syndrome’ (a doctor once told me I could ‘never’ lose weight.)

And a weird thing happened. Once I got into the routine of eating 6 small meals a day instead of literally eating ALL day, I had all kinds of time on my hands…and I started to really THINK about my eating.

I started to unravel the mysteries behind my food addiction.

And I have to be honest. When I first started, if someone had called me a ‘food addict’ I would’ve been highly INSULTED.

But I read other people’s blogs and comments on the TSFL community website, and I realized that there were others ‘like me’ in the world, for whom FOOD was…well…’everything’. And of course it shouldn’t be. Food is meant to be physical nutrition. It’s not meant to be a problem solver or a stress reliever or an anger-reducer or a friend or a comfort or any of the other myriad things I expected from it.

So I finally ‘accepted’ the fact that YES, I was definitely a food addict.

But that was OK….because I WAS NOT ALONE.

My experience on this community has been incredible. Here there are wonderful, kind, caring people, who assured me that I was not alone, and that it WAS possible to conquer my food addiction…because THEY had DONE IT.

I saw ‘winners’ in the losers. Veterans who had lost ALL the weight, changed their lives, and KEPT IT OFF.

As I interacted with others like myself, I came to realize that this was much, much more than a ‘diet’.
This could change my eating habits for GOOD.

That isn’t a small task. After all, I have fifty plus years of ‘conditioning’ to undo. Not to mention the fibro….which made exercise both ‘more’ important to do and ‘harder’ to do, at the same time.

But losing weight on this program helped me feel better physically. And like a snowball rolling down a hill, one thing led to another …first it was gentle exercise, then it was weight training, then more exercise, then a reduction in my painkillers, then my sleep improved, then I had more energy and was able to sign up at a gym, and so on. One good habit led to another and another. I kicked my lifelong diet soda habit. I found that I really enjoyed eating small, healthy meals and drinking lots of water, and that I didn’t have to STUFF myself to be happy.

To my amazement I reached GOAL weight in July of 2013!  I followed Transition for 12 weeks and have been maintaining ever since (with some minor fluctuations and adjustments to my goal weight).

My double-chin disappeared. I have MILES of space between me and the steering wheel in my car. I can cross my legs. I’ve cut way back on my pain meds.  I dropped from a size 24 to a size 12. I lost over 70 lbs! I attained a healthier BMI, stopped a progression into diabetes COLD, and became the vibrant, happy person I had once been so many years ago.

I’m also a confirmed ‘gym nut’ and work out several days a week!

But there’s MORE. I also discovered….I loved writing, and sharing my insights and revelations with others. In fact I couldn’t STOP writing! I got hooked on it. Looked forward to it. And to my delight I found that I was helping others at the same time I was clarifying my own insights when I did this.

And something inside me started jumping up and down with JOY. It was…my heart!

I FOUND MY HEART! I found my passion. I found my PURPOSE. I got such a THRILL out of it when someone said ‘You helped me today’ that it put me on a ‘high’ the rest of the day.

I got hooked on HELPING OTHERS while I helped myself.

And….I don’t want that to end. EVER.

So I’m pleased and proud to announce that I have become a Health Coach for Take Shape for Life.

It’s in my heart to help others as I was helped. I feel it right down to my CORE. I LOVE improving myself. I love the little ‘baby steps’ that lead up to BIG CHANGES on the scale and in the mirror and in the way I feel. And I want to do what I can to help others see the same benefits and changes in their lives that I have.

I will never look back again. I’m here to stay, loving my life and enjoying my friends, family, and even holidays while not overindulging on the junk food that used to rule my days and nights. Now I enjoy healthy foods and that is incredible to me. I’ll choose an apple for a treat. This from someone who never ate fruits and veggies….unless they were deep-fried or wrapped in sugar concoctions.

Every night I go to bed I thank GOD for this program, and every morning I wake up and smile because when I look in the mirror, I LOVE what I see. My husband and I are enjoying a ‘second honeymoon’ after 25 years of marriage because of the bounce in my step and the way I can fit into my jeans! 

I look forward to this next chapter in my life. I’d like to contribute in some small way to reverse the obesity epidemic in this country. This program is NECESSARY. I really feel that Coaches can save lives. And what higher calling is there?

If I can lose the weight, YOU can do it.

ANYONE can do it if they are motivated and committed. And have a little faith that this  just may be the ‘ticket’ to a slim, healthy body for you.

I thank my TSFL Health Coach who helped me on my journey. It was free to ask for one when I ordered my Medifast meals, and I'm so glad I did!

You are NOT alone. Remember that. Others have walked your path and they have succeeded….and if you’re willing to listen, and to try new things, you just might amaze yourself!

And if you need help, please, don't hesitate to contact me.  Or check out the TSFL program on your own! 

 

…’DREAMS DO COME TRUE!’

Love and HUGS!

Linda