I'm
a voracious reader. Always have been. If I don't have at
least two books I'm reading simultaneously (one 'heavy' book
on weight loss, attitude, or spiritual growth/meditation; plus
one 'light' read like a thriller or romance), I'm unhappy.
For Christmas DH bought me a tee shirt that says "I cannot sleep unless I'm surrounded by books". But it's true!
I have a large bookcase right behind my bed and it's loaded to capacity with books I've read or am planning to read. That's how I put myself to sleep every night..I 'decompress' with a good read. Until my eyes start closing....and then I put the book down and go to sleep.
I used to soak weight-loss books up like a SPONGE. I've read LOTS of diet books, from the Stillman diet to the Atkins diet to the 40/30/30 plan to South Beach to, well, everything in between.
Most of those books have now been donated or recycled, by the way. The theories they expound upon? Just don't make sense in the "real world" -- particularly for a food addict. Even some of the behavior modification technique books...you know, the ones that swear if you take 20 minutes to eat it will tell your brain you're full...or to put down your fork between bites, or chew each bite 20 times...well, that's fine and I've absorbed what I could from them and try to apply the ideas that make SENSE to me (that's key!)...but even those after awhile, OUT they go, they're just taking up space I could fill with a NEW book.
Every time I'd go on a diet there would usually be a book that accompanied it...and I'd be super-dedicated, all involved and following along, step-by-step....until something happened in my life that gave me unexpected stress, or the carb monster reared its ugly head and I found myself "STARVING"...or....you name it. Either the plan didn't make sense in the long run (I mean who can live on some of these krazy plans?) or I'd be unable to stick to it, or it just didn't work.
Regardless, sooner or later I'd quit because the results just WEREN'T WORTH IT.
Well, when I started this program, believe it or not I had never even HEARD of Dr. Anderson or the Habits of Health book. And I only vaguely knew about Medifast! (all I knew was it was a 'shake' program to lose weight quickly...sounded like a fad diet to me).
Obviously I had a lot to learn. And once I heard there was a book...Oh boy! Gotta have it...I ran out and bought it.
And the HOH book has been an invaluable guide along the way.
BUT...it's not the be-all and end-all. Not for me. I take what I need from it, and the beginning chapters are particularly good...in terms of explaining weight loss in general, and the specifics of why a program like this WORKS. Also the glycemic index charts are something I STILL refer to, and the exercise chapters make sense as well because they start you off SLOW and work up.
That said, I'm always on the lookout for another diet book---not so much for a specific diet (I'm DONE with diets FOREVER...YAY!!!) but for the mental/emotional piece that goes hand in hand with changing your eating habits FOREVER. That's why I love Geneen Roth's emotional eating books (her latest is called When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair (!!!)) and there are certain books I always recommend for binge eaters -- Brain over Binge and Rational Recovery -- because they helped me get my HEAD in gear while working this plan. They really assisted me in doing some of the analysis and 'headwork' that is so very important to do here, so that when I got to goal I didn't go hog wild and start overeating again, I didn't go 'right back' to my old eating habits. I really CHANGED from the INSIDE OUT.
Well, I just bought a new book out of pure curiosity called The Last Diet, Exercise and Weight-Loss Book you will ever need to Read by Franny Goodrich. I was poking around in Amazon and it popped up because it's top rated and seems to 'tell it like it is'. And I thought that would be REFRESHING for a change. Someone NOT promoting a 'new' diet or plan, but instead giving a tough-love, 'no holds barred', HONEST look at weight loss and telling the truth.
And it didn't disappoint! I mean, it's not rocket scientist (it's actually a VERY easy read..if you hate to read? It's perfect for me, TRUST ME on this, it's got big print and it's not real long and it's written in common sense language AND -- my favorite -- it DEBUNKS ALL THE JUNK and the MYTHS out there.) That said, it does NOT endorse Medifast (far from it, in fact it swears 'any' diet less than 1200 is 'not good for you' (again, not taking into account ketosis or the uniqueness of this plan OR the way food addicts have to operate in the real world to get their weight down). So take it with a grain of salt...like anything else, right?
That said; it was interesting.
And guess what? The #1 rule it gave for weight loss was (drumroll please)....
"TAKE IN LESS CALORIES THAN YOU USE".
Well 'duh', right? HELLO?
If we eat less we'll lose weight.
It's surprising how OFTEN we can lose sight of that, though!
And as food addicts...well, we know it's not quite that simple. Because we have too many "issues" with food.
So we come to this plan precisely BECAUSE it gives us strict 'rules' to follow AND it produces FAST, consistent weight loss -- which motivates us to keep going.
The book DID offer a lot of common sense advice. There was a chapter entitled '10 Tough Laws to Lose Weight' and the list was remarkably close to what I would give any newbie (or struggling veteran!) of this program as to HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT!
So I took that list and modified it, putting everything I know and have experienced with this plan into my own "RULES" ...to GET TO GOAL.
Here they are:
#1). FOLLOW THE PROGRAM!
Well 'duh', right? Seriously, though. STOP telling yourself you're 'different', you're 'special', you have a harder LIFE than the norm, you have a krazy schedule, you can't possibly fit 6 meals in a day, you can't POSSIBLY drink all that water, is all that soy protein GOOD for me? What about gluten? Oh no I'm a Vegetarian I can't do it (check the meatless options), but I'm diabetic (check the diabetic rules and talk to your coach), but I'm....(fill in the blanks).
You are NOT 'different'. You ARE unique, yes, and you ARE 'special'....every human being is special...but TRUST ME, this plan will WORK .... IF YOU FOLLOW THE PLAN!
Stop making up your own rules. Stop telling yourself it's the weekend so you can have 'just a little'. Stop going out with your friends and then blaming your lack of progress on 'socializing'. JUST DO IT. Or telling yourself you 'need motivation'. Either DO IT or don't do it, but stop vacillating and stop waiting for someone else to do it for you because it ain't gonna happen. ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS for yourself. It's all up to YOU. We get ONE body and ONE owner, and that's you. So decide to do it, or forget the whole thing but don't waste your time or your money! If you're going to do it, DO IT.
Now. Get out that Quick Start Guide and FOLLOW IT.
#2). It's all in your ATTITUDE.
Stop complaining and whining about how the food tastes "awful" and how in the world do you STAND it? etc. Your brain and your body are intricately connected. The more you complain, the harder you're making it....on YOURSELF. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
Don't complain to your friends that you 'hate' eating this way and look upon it as 'suffering'. Instead, speak glowingly and confidently about your weight-loss plan. Use positive self-talk and affirmations. Your body responds to your thoughts, and your thoughts create your reality. Remind yourself that you love this new 'you'. Remind yourself how great you feel, and how much greater you are becoming, and how PROUD you are of yourself for getting through that dinner out or that wedding or that stressful situation or whatever. The more you do this, the more emotional 'pats on the back' you can give yourself, the more your brain sits up and takes notice and will GUIDE you towards making the RIGHT choice the next time!
#3). Don't use WILLPOWER. Willpower fades. Get COMMITTED instead.
Of all your past attempts to lose weight, how many times did you truly and totally COMMIT to succeeding? Write this date on your calendar. Make it a big deal. Challenge yourself to not give in when it becomes difficult (strengthen that 'NO' muscle!) and more importantly, to get right back on track when or if you stumble.
Commit 100% to the 5/1. Take your 'before' pictures. Clean out your frig and your pantry and get rid of the junk food. You're NOT relying on willpower this time, this time it will be different because this time it's COMMITMENT to CHANGING YOUR LIFE, once and for all. This is NOT a diet. It's a way to shed the weight WHILE learning how to eat healthy FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Decide that this is what you want. Your plan and your needs and your body come FIRST. Everything else can wait. MAKE STAYING OP A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE. NO.MATTER.WHAT. No more excuses!
#4). Get TOUGH with your non-supporters.
I have a blog I'm going to publish about those wonderful unsung heroes, our DHs or spouses or partners who SUPPORT us...and there are many out there. But most of these folks didn't start out that way. We had to educate them, and SHOW them that THIS TIME we mean BUSINESS! No more food pushing. Have a heart-to-heart chat with those closest to you and explain to them how important this is. It is crucial that the people closest to you...your spouse, your family, and your friends and co-workers, understand and support you. If they don't, you need to stay away from them or SHOW THEM through your actions that you do NOT intend to be swayed from your goals. (they'll come around, believe me). If they don't? Then maybe they were invested in having you being 'fatter' than they were! (Sad but true sometimes). If they really care about you they will support you. 100%. And you'd be surprised. Families CAN survive without dessert after every meal. They will be FINE without the junk food around (if they must have it, store it separately where you can't -- or won't -- get into it. And please please tell them to have some courtesy and NOT crunch those Cheetos in front of you or order a pizza in! For pete's sakes...don't get tortured!)
You'd be surprised (and delighted) with what a supportive DH can live 'without'. My DH got used to lasagna and cookies and all sorts of goodies I would make on a regular basis. And all that came to a screeching halt when I started this plan...but HE LIVED. He made a few remarks at first, but I just kept telling him how important it was for me NOT to have those foods in the house...how I was a food addict and WOULD get into them, no matter how much I promised myself I wouldn't...and how I had it hard ENOUGH, I didn't NEED to make it harder on myself. And you know what? He understood! He GOT it! If they love you they WILL understand, believe me. And they'll help you. BUT YOU MUST ASK FOR THE HELP YOU NEED.
The people we love aren't mind readers. TELL THEM about the plan and about what you can and cannot have. SPELL IT OUT. Don't just get angry because they brought 'whatever' food in that you can't have. EXPLAIN IT TO THEM. And back it up with your ACTIONS.
If you give in 'once', then they will assume you'll give in again.
Where does it end? It has to stop someplace.
#5). ONE WILL HURT.
Get that through your head. It WILL hurt.
Yep. LOG YOUR MEALS. Yep, the food log on this site leaves a lot to be desired. But you CAN work with it. I learned how...I got determined and patient, I use PRIVATE FOODS when I can't get what I want entered properly, and I LOG EVERY BITE.
If you don't? Oh how QUICKLY we forget! Yes, the 5/1 is pretty straightforward, just your 5 MF meals plus your L&G plus your water...but it STILL helps, as validation if nothing else!....to get those foods logged in and SEE that you stayed OP today. To see those wonderful numbers on the left showing a nice big calorie DEFICIT. That's really what we're shooting for, you know. It's mostly about taking in LESS CALORIES than we need. That's all. If you eat less than you need, you lose weight! So log on, click on 'Log meals' and go for it. I'm in maintenance, gang, and I STILL DO IT. Every night. If I don't? I can quickly forget what I ate....and then tell myself 'Oh I didn't have my (whatever)' and OVEReat. WRITE IT DOWN.
This also helps on those weeks when you don't lose as well...if you've got your food log you may be able to trace the lack of weight loss down to too much sodium (i.e., water retention). Or you can see where you're picking a lot of the higher carb items for veggies or leans...and maybe go down to the leaner or leanest choices next time. You can also make notes if you had a great day that you weren't hungry at all (YAY!) you can put a big exclamation point on your daily log (YES I keep a written log as well....I write it down as I eat it during the day, then I transfer that to my food log every night). And on days I LOVED what I ate and everything worked well for me and I had a good loss? I put 'happy faces' in my log. (I know, I know....anal, what can I say? But there's something very rewarding about seeing all those happy faces or gold stars or whatever you use to give yourself a pat on the back! LOL)
Recording everything you put in your mouth also makes you FAR less likely to grab a nibble of this and just a taste of that, if you have to write it down. Do not skip this step - it's a powerful deterrent to those 'BLTs' (bites licks and tastes) - and it also is a great 'reinforcer' in terms of staying OP. It's great to look back and see all those days you stayed 100% OP add up...and have some tangible evidence in the form of your written and/or recorded food log!
#7). EAT YOUR MF MEALS ON TIME.
Well, within the guidelines, anyway. Every 2-3 hours. Don't wait over 4 hours to have your MF meal because that's not good. You want to keep your blood sugar stabilized and not set yourself up for binge-eating behavior. (If you haven't eaten in too long you can get really really hungry and its all-too-easy to overdo). What? You're not hungry? Eat your MF meal 'ANYWAY'. YES, you heard me. Eat it anyway. You're keeping the 'furnace' of your metablism going at a good rate, burning those calories and getting rid of the fat, by eating at regular intervals. Get into a routine with your meals and stick to it.
By the way, don't worry about that 'don't eat after 7 pm' b.s. That's for normal people trying to cut back. This plan is different. We NEED all 5 of our MF meals to keep the fat burning process going. Besides, who needs to go to bed on an empty stomach? That just feeds the 'midnight munchie attacks'!!! Don't go there. Personally I like to save my favorite MF meal for my final evening snack right before I go to bed...it's sort of my 'validation' for completing another successful day OP...AND it puts food in my bell so I don't wake up 'starving' in the middle of the night.
#8. Do the headwork!
Are you getting Hungry again within 2-3 hours of eating? Then you know what's happening...it's emotional eating or stress eating or whatever you want to call it but bottom line? It's not 'true' hunger.
This plan meets all our nutritional needs. If you're eating your meals and drinking your water, then technically your body doesn't "need" anything more physically (unless you're over-exercising, see #9), this is a problem INSIDE YOUR HEAD and this is where the REAL WORK COMES IN.
It's one thing to follow the 'physical' aspects of the plan, to 'just do it', day in and day out. But if you don't do the headwork, if you don't do the ANALYSIS of 'why' you're hungry in between and gee, could it be related to the fact that you just had a fight with a friend, or an argument with your DH, or you had a stressful day with too many things going on at once (learn how to say NO), or you have too much work to do or you're sick or you're depressed or you're frustrated or you're nervous or anxious or tired or in pain or....etc etc etc.....WE EAT FOR REASONS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR STOMACHS. We all know this. But here's the thing...if you keep 'ignoring' your emotional hunger (just to 'do it', grit your teeth, white-knuckle it, get through it)....it will keep haunting you to the point where one day you will put something in your mouth and literally have NO RECOLLECTION OF DOING IT (or 'why'). This program GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY....the TIME....to do the headwork in between WITHOUT being 'hungry' at the same time.
So once you get through the first month or so and you're past all the side effects of getting your body into ketosis and you start getting into the rhythm of the plan, really start DELVING into your 'why's'. Determining what kicks off your food addiction can really help you to CHANGE that behavior permanently. Think about what drives you. Blog about it. Read others' blogs about it. Check out the behaviors forum. Read books on the subject (as I mentioned in the beginning, there are HUNDREDS of good ones. Just stay away from any that specifically mention an eating plan or diet, you want to work on just the emotional components, what's happening inside your head, instead. I particularly like the Dr. Beck series of books...they have workbooks that have you record things like how you feel when you're hungry, and working through your feelings and actually FEELING them instead of what we used to do, which was 'stuff them down' with FOOD!
This website and the support of others can help you BIGTIME, as well...right here.
Read. Ask questions. THINK about your own life. Write about it. Read comments to blogs. Ask some more questions. Trust me, there's a treasure-trove of information 'under the covers' of this site, in the voices of people who've "been there done that". You might even find your solution by reading a newbies' log and thinking, 'That's EXACTLY what I do! That's how I feel!' and see the truth for what it is, FINALLY.
#9). DO NOT EXERCISE too much.
YEP, Ms. "Gym Nut" is telling you NOT to go krazy on the exercise.
First of all, when you first start? Your body has too much adjusting to do to get into ketosis to overburden it with the stress of an exercise program, 'too'. So WAIT. It will still be there, trust me. The gym is not going away, and they won't stop making treadmills! LOL Give yourself a good 3 weeks before starting to work out.
And then? START S-L-O-W-L-Y. OMG I can't emphasize this enough. Too many of us start out all 'gung ho' and we overdo and EXHAUST ourselves and then of course we don't keep it up, who wants to punish themselves like that? Start with a gentle walking program. 20 minutes a day 3 days a week with a REST DAY in between (this is important to give the muscles time to recuperate and CHANGE, which is what we're looking for). There is NO NEED to plod along on the treadmill 7 days a week for an hour or more, or to attend high impact exercise classes every day, or even multiple times a day. That's just crazy.
I would rather see you do STRENGTH TRAINING (yep, you heard me, the weight circuit!) 3 times a week. And think of going HARDER, not "longer". In other words, if you start a 20 minute walking program, work up to walking FASTER (which of course means you'll cover more ground) but in the SAME AMOUNT OF TIME. You want to STRESS your muscles just a BIT.
If you're doing weights, lift enough weight to FEEL IT! Not overstress and pull a muscle, but FEEL IT. You should have it be HARD by the time you get to the 8th or 9th time. And do two sets. That's all. NO MORE. You see these guys at the gym, they are working out for hours and hours...but you don't need to do that. It's not even a good idea because it overtaxes your body!
It's a fine line between stress and overwork, so pay attention to your body, and make SURE to take those rest days in between...but the only way to improve your body and your metabolism is to build MUSCLE. You can't 'burn fat'. If you take in less calories than you need you WILL be burning fat, but that's part of your DIETARY process, not your exercise. DO NOT EXERCISE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Exercise to reduce stress, exercise to work your cardiovascular system, exercise to improve your posture and your balance, and most of all exercise to BUILD LONG LEAN MUSCLES. You CAN build up your muscles WHILE reducing the fat by doing the 5/1 and weight training at the same time! It WORKS. I can't tell you how many 'fat' women I see in the cardio classes....yet they would accomplish so much more if they just used the weights instead. But everyone's afraid of building 'too big' muscles. NOT TRUE. Women don't have the hormones to build big muscles! But muscle tone LOOKS better, and is LEANER, than fat. My trainer looks incredible...she's toned ALL OVER, she's lean and 'small' and SOLID, and to look at her she looks like she weighs about 115 lbs. But surprise! She weighs 140 to 145! That's because she's solid MUSCLE. Muscle doesn't 'weigh more' than fat...but it TAKES UP LESS SPACE, it's leaner, so your jeans fit better (and isn't that what it's all about?)...and here's the best part...muscle tissue DOES 'need' (slightly) more calories to sustain itself than fat does...so eventually? YES YOU CAN eat more! But it takes a long time to work up to this level....and it takes BABY STEPS. You can't do it all at once, you can't overtrain because you'll just exhaust yourself and accomplish NOTHING.
So weight train 3x a week with a day off in between. If you want to do cardio for your heart and strictly to burn a few more calories, fine...but don't go krazy. 20 or 30 minutes tops on the treadmill or walking is enough...and again, a REST DAY in between (so says the gym nut who's working out 5x a week...but in my case it's mostly STRESS RELIEF and a way to keep busy, make friends, and have fun! It's what I do 'for me' every morning during the week and I love it).
And by the way STAY OFF THE SCALE the next day, because it could give you an abnormally high reading (due to water+glycogen retention that the body does 'automatically' when we work out, regardless of how much we drink before/during/after exercise). WAIT until you've had a full day off to get on that scale.
Which brings me to ... last but not least:
#10). STOP HOPPING ON AND OFF THE SCALE!
For pete's sakes, STOP IT! We all do it...especially that first week...because OMG you feel so much lighter so quickly! And we're losing a LOT that first week...so that YES, you might even see a weight loss EVERY MORNING that first week when you step on the scale.
But you know what? That's only for the first week or so! After that you can expect to lose 2-5 lbs a week on AVERAGE. And for many of us, that's even 'high'! We're lucky if we lose a lb a week. So what? If you lose a lb a week that's 52 lbs in a YEAR, folks! That's nothing to sneeze at!
But the EMOTIONAL damage you do to yourself when you weigh daily cannot be over-emphasized. I've done it. Over and over again. And it's just plain STUPID. Because no matter how smart you "think" you are, no matter how much experience you've had with the scale or keeping track of what you eat or the weight-water retention-sodium issue or that TOM or whatever...you are STILL GOING TO FEEL DEPRESSED on days when the scale doesn't cooperate. You know it and I know it.
SO WHY DO THAT TO YOURSELF? Seriously! WHY? Why in heaven's name are you driving yourself NUTS? Do you think the 'weight police' are going to come and arrest you because you gained 2 lbs in pure water weight over the weekend because you went out to dinner both nights (and stayed OP, by the way...which is GREAT). Do you think you have to wear a big sign on your forehead every week that says "I lose 2 lbs this week" or "I now weigh 211 but LAST week I weighed 215!"
WHO CARES? It's just a number. It's just VALIDATION of your efforts. the TRUE goal here is to get the weight off TOTALLY (which will take, as long as it needs to take, regardless of what time limits or schedule you try to follow, your body won't cooperate, believe me!), and to CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS PERMANENTLY, which means doing the 'headwork' I spoke about above, analyzing 'why' you overeat and taking steps to change that behavior FOR GOOD, PLUS developing a taste for healthy foods...which trust me, is only going to happen if you follow the program ALL THE WAY! It can't happen if you 'take a break' every vacation, or every time you get sick, or every weekend, or every step you have a stressful day, or....you name it.
We can all think of a million excuses why NOT to do it. But throw your excuses away. Decide that this is IT, one way or the other. You are going to put your head down and DO IT this time, 100%, and you aren't going to let anyone or anything deter you from staying OP.
If you follow the above 10 rules? You CAN get to goal.
Oh - one FINAL word...an 'addendum', if you will:
#11). YOU WILL FALTER.
Sooner or later everyone does. "Life goes on", it doesn't come to a half because you're doing this program, and you will still have problems, you will still have bills, the kids will still get sick, YOU will still get sick, you will still have stress and your job may be a big pain and you had a fight with your DH etc etc.....
And there will still be vacations, holidays, birthdays, 'events', donuts at work, you name it!
So you're human...and with all this happening around you, plus the CONSTANT BOMBARDMENT by the food industry we're all faced with in this country, and it's inevitable that sooner or later, you will stumble, you will fall, you will overeat, you may even binge.
BUT...!!! What you do AFTERWARDS can make all the difference in the world. You can STILL GET TO GOAL (I did and YES I faltered! YES I stumbled! YES I even BINGED!)
You know how?
YOU GET.BACK.UP. You get back OP the next day and you make your mind up and you LEARN FROM IT.
"Fall down 8 times, get UP 9 times." That's all there is to it.
So if you have a problem and you go off program, STOP with the self-punishment, already. You're HUMAN.
Just get back OP and LEARN YOUR LESSON from it. (every failure is a lesson!)
Good luck! YOU CAN DO IT!
Keep on keepin' on
For Christmas DH bought me a tee shirt that says "I cannot sleep unless I'm surrounded by books". But it's true!
I have a large bookcase right behind my bed and it's loaded to capacity with books I've read or am planning to read. That's how I put myself to sleep every night..I 'decompress' with a good read. Until my eyes start closing....and then I put the book down and go to sleep.
I used to soak weight-loss books up like a SPONGE. I've read LOTS of diet books, from the Stillman diet to the Atkins diet to the 40/30/30 plan to South Beach to, well, everything in between.
Most of those books have now been donated or recycled, by the way. The theories they expound upon? Just don't make sense in the "real world" -- particularly for a food addict. Even some of the behavior modification technique books...you know, the ones that swear if you take 20 minutes to eat it will tell your brain you're full...or to put down your fork between bites, or chew each bite 20 times...well, that's fine and I've absorbed what I could from them and try to apply the ideas that make SENSE to me (that's key!)...but even those after awhile, OUT they go, they're just taking up space I could fill with a NEW book.
Every time I'd go on a diet there would usually be a book that accompanied it...and I'd be super-dedicated, all involved and following along, step-by-step....until something happened in my life that gave me unexpected stress, or the carb monster reared its ugly head and I found myself "STARVING"...or....you name it. Either the plan didn't make sense in the long run (I mean who can live on some of these krazy plans?) or I'd be unable to stick to it, or it just didn't work.
Regardless, sooner or later I'd quit because the results just WEREN'T WORTH IT.
Well, when I started this program, believe it or not I had never even HEARD of Dr. Anderson or the Habits of Health book. And I only vaguely knew about Medifast! (all I knew was it was a 'shake' program to lose weight quickly...sounded like a fad diet to me).
Obviously I had a lot to learn. And once I heard there was a book...Oh boy! Gotta have it...I ran out and bought it.
And the HOH book has been an invaluable guide along the way.
BUT...it's not the be-all and end-all. Not for me. I take what I need from it, and the beginning chapters are particularly good...in terms of explaining weight loss in general, and the specifics of why a program like this WORKS. Also the glycemic index charts are something I STILL refer to, and the exercise chapters make sense as well because they start you off SLOW and work up.
That said, I'm always on the lookout for another diet book---not so much for a specific diet (I'm DONE with diets FOREVER...YAY!!!) but for the mental/emotional piece that goes hand in hand with changing your eating habits FOREVER. That's why I love Geneen Roth's emotional eating books (her latest is called When you eat at the refrigerator, pull up a chair (!!!)) and there are certain books I always recommend for binge eaters -- Brain over Binge and Rational Recovery -- because they helped me get my HEAD in gear while working this plan. They really assisted me in doing some of the analysis and 'headwork' that is so very important to do here, so that when I got to goal I didn't go hog wild and start overeating again, I didn't go 'right back' to my old eating habits. I really CHANGED from the INSIDE OUT.
Well, I just bought a new book out of pure curiosity called The Last Diet, Exercise and Weight-Loss Book you will ever need to Read by Franny Goodrich. I was poking around in Amazon and it popped up because it's top rated and seems to 'tell it like it is'. And I thought that would be REFRESHING for a change. Someone NOT promoting a 'new' diet or plan, but instead giving a tough-love, 'no holds barred', HONEST look at weight loss and telling the truth.
And it didn't disappoint! I mean, it's not rocket scientist (it's actually a VERY easy read..if you hate to read? It's perfect for me, TRUST ME on this, it's got big print and it's not real long and it's written in common sense language AND -- my favorite -- it DEBUNKS ALL THE JUNK and the MYTHS out there.) That said, it does NOT endorse Medifast (far from it, in fact it swears 'any' diet less than 1200 is 'not good for you' (again, not taking into account ketosis or the uniqueness of this plan OR the way food addicts have to operate in the real world to get their weight down). So take it with a grain of salt...like anything else, right?
That said; it was interesting.
And guess what? The #1 rule it gave for weight loss was (drumroll please)....
"TAKE IN LESS CALORIES THAN YOU USE".
Well 'duh', right? HELLO?
If we eat less we'll lose weight.
It's surprising how OFTEN we can lose sight of that, though!
And as food addicts...well, we know it's not quite that simple. Because we have too many "issues" with food.
So we come to this plan precisely BECAUSE it gives us strict 'rules' to follow AND it produces FAST, consistent weight loss -- which motivates us to keep going.
The book DID offer a lot of common sense advice. There was a chapter entitled '10 Tough Laws to Lose Weight' and the list was remarkably close to what I would give any newbie (or struggling veteran!) of this program as to HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT!
So I took that list and modified it, putting everything I know and have experienced with this plan into my own "RULES" ...to GET TO GOAL.
Here they are:
#1). FOLLOW THE PROGRAM!
Well 'duh', right? Seriously, though. STOP telling yourself you're 'different', you're 'special', you have a harder LIFE than the norm, you have a krazy schedule, you can't possibly fit 6 meals in a day, you can't POSSIBLY drink all that water, is all that soy protein GOOD for me? What about gluten? Oh no I'm a Vegetarian I can't do it (check the meatless options), but I'm diabetic (check the diabetic rules and talk to your coach), but I'm....(fill in the blanks).
You are NOT 'different'. You ARE unique, yes, and you ARE 'special'....every human being is special...but TRUST ME, this plan will WORK .... IF YOU FOLLOW THE PLAN!
Stop making up your own rules. Stop telling yourself it's the weekend so you can have 'just a little'. Stop going out with your friends and then blaming your lack of progress on 'socializing'. JUST DO IT. Or telling yourself you 'need motivation'. Either DO IT or don't do it, but stop vacillating and stop waiting for someone else to do it for you because it ain't gonna happen. ONLY YOU CAN DO THIS for yourself. It's all up to YOU. We get ONE body and ONE owner, and that's you. So decide to do it, or forget the whole thing but don't waste your time or your money! If you're going to do it, DO IT.
Now. Get out that Quick Start Guide and FOLLOW IT.
#2). It's all in your ATTITUDE.
Stop complaining and whining about how the food tastes "awful" and how in the world do you STAND it? etc. Your brain and your body are intricately connected. The more you complain, the harder you're making it....on YOURSELF. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
Don't complain to your friends that you 'hate' eating this way and look upon it as 'suffering'. Instead, speak glowingly and confidently about your weight-loss plan. Use positive self-talk and affirmations. Your body responds to your thoughts, and your thoughts create your reality. Remind yourself that you love this new 'you'. Remind yourself how great you feel, and how much greater you are becoming, and how PROUD you are of yourself for getting through that dinner out or that wedding or that stressful situation or whatever. The more you do this, the more emotional 'pats on the back' you can give yourself, the more your brain sits up and takes notice and will GUIDE you towards making the RIGHT choice the next time!
(by
the way, it doesn't hurt to 'brag' a little in a blog about
your success! You will get a lot of compliments and pats on
the back from fellow MFers who KNOW how tough it was! And next
time you'll WANT that success again, so you'll keep doing it!)
#3). Don't use WILLPOWER. Willpower fades. Get COMMITTED instead.
Of all your past attempts to lose weight, how many times did you truly and totally COMMIT to succeeding? Write this date on your calendar. Make it a big deal. Challenge yourself to not give in when it becomes difficult (strengthen that 'NO' muscle!) and more importantly, to get right back on track when or if you stumble.
Commit 100% to the 5/1. Take your 'before' pictures. Clean out your frig and your pantry and get rid of the junk food. You're NOT relying on willpower this time, this time it will be different because this time it's COMMITMENT to CHANGING YOUR LIFE, once and for all. This is NOT a diet. It's a way to shed the weight WHILE learning how to eat healthy FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Decide that this is what you want. Your plan and your needs and your body come FIRST. Everything else can wait. MAKE STAYING OP A PRIORITY IN YOUR LIFE. NO.MATTER.WHAT. No more excuses!
#4). Get TOUGH with your non-supporters.
I have a blog I'm going to publish about those wonderful unsung heroes, our DHs or spouses or partners who SUPPORT us...and there are many out there. But most of these folks didn't start out that way. We had to educate them, and SHOW them that THIS TIME we mean BUSINESS! No more food pushing. Have a heart-to-heart chat with those closest to you and explain to them how important this is. It is crucial that the people closest to you...your spouse, your family, and your friends and co-workers, understand and support you. If they don't, you need to stay away from them or SHOW THEM through your actions that you do NOT intend to be swayed from your goals. (they'll come around, believe me). If they don't? Then maybe they were invested in having you being 'fatter' than they were! (Sad but true sometimes). If they really care about you they will support you. 100%. And you'd be surprised. Families CAN survive without dessert after every meal. They will be FINE without the junk food around (if they must have it, store it separately where you can't -- or won't -- get into it. And please please tell them to have some courtesy and NOT crunch those Cheetos in front of you or order a pizza in! For pete's sakes...don't get tortured!)
You'd be surprised (and delighted) with what a supportive DH can live 'without'. My DH got used to lasagna and cookies and all sorts of goodies I would make on a regular basis. And all that came to a screeching halt when I started this plan...but HE LIVED. He made a few remarks at first, but I just kept telling him how important it was for me NOT to have those foods in the house...how I was a food addict and WOULD get into them, no matter how much I promised myself I wouldn't...and how I had it hard ENOUGH, I didn't NEED to make it harder on myself. And you know what? He understood! He GOT it! If they love you they WILL understand, believe me. And they'll help you. BUT YOU MUST ASK FOR THE HELP YOU NEED.
The people we love aren't mind readers. TELL THEM about the plan and about what you can and cannot have. SPELL IT OUT. Don't just get angry because they brought 'whatever' food in that you can't have. EXPLAIN IT TO THEM. And back it up with your ACTIONS.
If you give in 'once', then they will assume you'll give in again.
Where does it end? It has to stop someplace.
#5). ONE WILL HURT.
Get that through your head. It WILL hurt.
Maybe not in calories, maybe you'll get away with it and it
won't throw you out of ketosis....but listen to me...it will
STILL HURT, because it puts a 'chink' in your armor, it tells
Fat Brain "it's OK I can do this once in awhile", and that
opens the doors of hell. TRUST ME ON THIS. It starts with one
bite but it quickly morphs into the 'whole thing' - or
MULTIPLE bites of MULTIPLE things. And you are basically
opening the door to Fat Brain and telling her to "come on in,
have a seat, and talk to me" (and she WILL, boy, she
WILL...she'll tell you all kinds of lies and krazy logic to
get you to go BACK to what you were doing before, i.e.,
'nothing', just eating eating eating and gaining). DON'T
GO THERE in the first place and you won't have to battle
Fat Brain every second of every day. Just stay OP.
#6). WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU EAT.
#6). WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU EAT.
Yep. LOG YOUR MEALS. Yep, the food log on this site leaves a lot to be desired. But you CAN work with it. I learned how...I got determined and patient, I use PRIVATE FOODS when I can't get what I want entered properly, and I LOG EVERY BITE.
If you don't? Oh how QUICKLY we forget! Yes, the 5/1 is pretty straightforward, just your 5 MF meals plus your L&G plus your water...but it STILL helps, as validation if nothing else!....to get those foods logged in and SEE that you stayed OP today. To see those wonderful numbers on the left showing a nice big calorie DEFICIT. That's really what we're shooting for, you know. It's mostly about taking in LESS CALORIES than we need. That's all. If you eat less than you need, you lose weight! So log on, click on 'Log meals' and go for it. I'm in maintenance, gang, and I STILL DO IT. Every night. If I don't? I can quickly forget what I ate....and then tell myself 'Oh I didn't have my (whatever)' and OVEReat. WRITE IT DOWN.
This also helps on those weeks when you don't lose as well...if you've got your food log you may be able to trace the lack of weight loss down to too much sodium (i.e., water retention). Or you can see where you're picking a lot of the higher carb items for veggies or leans...and maybe go down to the leaner or leanest choices next time. You can also make notes if you had a great day that you weren't hungry at all (YAY!) you can put a big exclamation point on your daily log (YES I keep a written log as well....I write it down as I eat it during the day, then I transfer that to my food log every night). And on days I LOVED what I ate and everything worked well for me and I had a good loss? I put 'happy faces' in my log. (I know, I know....anal, what can I say? But there's something very rewarding about seeing all those happy faces or gold stars or whatever you use to give yourself a pat on the back! LOL)
Recording everything you put in your mouth also makes you FAR less likely to grab a nibble of this and just a taste of that, if you have to write it down. Do not skip this step - it's a powerful deterrent to those 'BLTs' (bites licks and tastes) - and it also is a great 'reinforcer' in terms of staying OP. It's great to look back and see all those days you stayed 100% OP add up...and have some tangible evidence in the form of your written and/or recorded food log!
#7). EAT YOUR MF MEALS ON TIME.
Well, within the guidelines, anyway. Every 2-3 hours. Don't wait over 4 hours to have your MF meal because that's not good. You want to keep your blood sugar stabilized and not set yourself up for binge-eating behavior. (If you haven't eaten in too long you can get really really hungry and its all-too-easy to overdo). What? You're not hungry? Eat your MF meal 'ANYWAY'. YES, you heard me. Eat it anyway. You're keeping the 'furnace' of your metablism going at a good rate, burning those calories and getting rid of the fat, by eating at regular intervals. Get into a routine with your meals and stick to it.
By the way, don't worry about that 'don't eat after 7 pm' b.s. That's for normal people trying to cut back. This plan is different. We NEED all 5 of our MF meals to keep the fat burning process going. Besides, who needs to go to bed on an empty stomach? That just feeds the 'midnight munchie attacks'!!! Don't go there. Personally I like to save my favorite MF meal for my final evening snack right before I go to bed...it's sort of my 'validation' for completing another successful day OP...AND it puts food in my bell so I don't wake up 'starving' in the middle of the night.
#8. Do the headwork!
Are you getting Hungry again within 2-3 hours of eating? Then you know what's happening...it's emotional eating or stress eating or whatever you want to call it but bottom line? It's not 'true' hunger.
This plan meets all our nutritional needs. If you're eating your meals and drinking your water, then technically your body doesn't "need" anything more physically (unless you're over-exercising, see #9), this is a problem INSIDE YOUR HEAD and this is where the REAL WORK COMES IN.
It's one thing to follow the 'physical' aspects of the plan, to 'just do it', day in and day out. But if you don't do the headwork, if you don't do the ANALYSIS of 'why' you're hungry in between and gee, could it be related to the fact that you just had a fight with a friend, or an argument with your DH, or you had a stressful day with too many things going on at once (learn how to say NO), or you have too much work to do or you're sick or you're depressed or you're frustrated or you're nervous or anxious or tired or in pain or....etc etc etc.....WE EAT FOR REASONS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR STOMACHS. We all know this. But here's the thing...if you keep 'ignoring' your emotional hunger (just to 'do it', grit your teeth, white-knuckle it, get through it)....it will keep haunting you to the point where one day you will put something in your mouth and literally have NO RECOLLECTION OF DOING IT (or 'why'). This program GIVES YOU THE OPPORTUNITY....the TIME....to do the headwork in between WITHOUT being 'hungry' at the same time.
So once you get through the first month or so and you're past all the side effects of getting your body into ketosis and you start getting into the rhythm of the plan, really start DELVING into your 'why's'. Determining what kicks off your food addiction can really help you to CHANGE that behavior permanently. Think about what drives you. Blog about it. Read others' blogs about it. Check out the behaviors forum. Read books on the subject (as I mentioned in the beginning, there are HUNDREDS of good ones. Just stay away from any that specifically mention an eating plan or diet, you want to work on just the emotional components, what's happening inside your head, instead. I particularly like the Dr. Beck series of books...they have workbooks that have you record things like how you feel when you're hungry, and working through your feelings and actually FEELING them instead of what we used to do, which was 'stuff them down' with FOOD!
This website and the support of others can help you BIGTIME, as well...right here.
Read. Ask questions. THINK about your own life. Write about it. Read comments to blogs. Ask some more questions. Trust me, there's a treasure-trove of information 'under the covers' of this site, in the voices of people who've "been there done that". You might even find your solution by reading a newbies' log and thinking, 'That's EXACTLY what I do! That's how I feel!' and see the truth for what it is, FINALLY.
#9). DO NOT EXERCISE too much.
YEP, Ms. "Gym Nut" is telling you NOT to go krazy on the exercise.
First of all, when you first start? Your body has too much adjusting to do to get into ketosis to overburden it with the stress of an exercise program, 'too'. So WAIT. It will still be there, trust me. The gym is not going away, and they won't stop making treadmills! LOL Give yourself a good 3 weeks before starting to work out.
And then? START S-L-O-W-L-Y. OMG I can't emphasize this enough. Too many of us start out all 'gung ho' and we overdo and EXHAUST ourselves and then of course we don't keep it up, who wants to punish themselves like that? Start with a gentle walking program. 20 minutes a day 3 days a week with a REST DAY in between (this is important to give the muscles time to recuperate and CHANGE, which is what we're looking for). There is NO NEED to plod along on the treadmill 7 days a week for an hour or more, or to attend high impact exercise classes every day, or even multiple times a day. That's just crazy.
I would rather see you do STRENGTH TRAINING (yep, you heard me, the weight circuit!) 3 times a week. And think of going HARDER, not "longer". In other words, if you start a 20 minute walking program, work up to walking FASTER (which of course means you'll cover more ground) but in the SAME AMOUNT OF TIME. You want to STRESS your muscles just a BIT.
If you're doing weights, lift enough weight to FEEL IT! Not overstress and pull a muscle, but FEEL IT. You should have it be HARD by the time you get to the 8th or 9th time. And do two sets. That's all. NO MORE. You see these guys at the gym, they are working out for hours and hours...but you don't need to do that. It's not even a good idea because it overtaxes your body!
REPEAT:
Your body needs a rest day in between to CHANGE, to 'make' the
muscle tissue out of fat.
It's a fine line between stress and overwork, so pay attention to your body, and make SURE to take those rest days in between...but the only way to improve your body and your metabolism is to build MUSCLE. You can't 'burn fat'. If you take in less calories than you need you WILL be burning fat, but that's part of your DIETARY process, not your exercise. DO NOT EXERCISE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Exercise to reduce stress, exercise to work your cardiovascular system, exercise to improve your posture and your balance, and most of all exercise to BUILD LONG LEAN MUSCLES. You CAN build up your muscles WHILE reducing the fat by doing the 5/1 and weight training at the same time! It WORKS. I can't tell you how many 'fat' women I see in the cardio classes....yet they would accomplish so much more if they just used the weights instead. But everyone's afraid of building 'too big' muscles. NOT TRUE. Women don't have the hormones to build big muscles! But muscle tone LOOKS better, and is LEANER, than fat. My trainer looks incredible...she's toned ALL OVER, she's lean and 'small' and SOLID, and to look at her she looks like she weighs about 115 lbs. But surprise! She weighs 140 to 145! That's because she's solid MUSCLE. Muscle doesn't 'weigh more' than fat...but it TAKES UP LESS SPACE, it's leaner, so your jeans fit better (and isn't that what it's all about?)...and here's the best part...muscle tissue DOES 'need' (slightly) more calories to sustain itself than fat does...so eventually? YES YOU CAN eat more! But it takes a long time to work up to this level....and it takes BABY STEPS. You can't do it all at once, you can't overtrain because you'll just exhaust yourself and accomplish NOTHING.
So weight train 3x a week with a day off in between. If you want to do cardio for your heart and strictly to burn a few more calories, fine...but don't go krazy. 20 or 30 minutes tops on the treadmill or walking is enough...and again, a REST DAY in between (so says the gym nut who's working out 5x a week...but in my case it's mostly STRESS RELIEF and a way to keep busy, make friends, and have fun! It's what I do 'for me' every morning during the week and I love it).
And by the way STAY OFF THE SCALE the next day, because it could give you an abnormally high reading (due to water+glycogen retention that the body does 'automatically' when we work out, regardless of how much we drink before/during/after exercise). WAIT until you've had a full day off to get on that scale.
Which brings me to ... last but not least:
#10). STOP HOPPING ON AND OFF THE SCALE!
For pete's sakes, STOP IT! We all do it...especially that first week...because OMG you feel so much lighter so quickly! And we're losing a LOT that first week...so that YES, you might even see a weight loss EVERY MORNING that first week when you step on the scale.
But you know what? That's only for the first week or so! After that you can expect to lose 2-5 lbs a week on AVERAGE. And for many of us, that's even 'high'! We're lucky if we lose a lb a week. So what? If you lose a lb a week that's 52 lbs in a YEAR, folks! That's nothing to sneeze at!
But the EMOTIONAL damage you do to yourself when you weigh daily cannot be over-emphasized. I've done it. Over and over again. And it's just plain STUPID. Because no matter how smart you "think" you are, no matter how much experience you've had with the scale or keeping track of what you eat or the weight-water retention-sodium issue or that TOM or whatever...you are STILL GOING TO FEEL DEPRESSED on days when the scale doesn't cooperate. You know it and I know it.
SO WHY DO THAT TO YOURSELF? Seriously! WHY? Why in heaven's name are you driving yourself NUTS? Do you think the 'weight police' are going to come and arrest you because you gained 2 lbs in pure water weight over the weekend because you went out to dinner both nights (and stayed OP, by the way...which is GREAT). Do you think you have to wear a big sign on your forehead every week that says "I lose 2 lbs this week" or "I now weigh 211 but LAST week I weighed 215!"
WHO CARES? It's just a number. It's just VALIDATION of your efforts. the TRUE goal here is to get the weight off TOTALLY (which will take, as long as it needs to take, regardless of what time limits or schedule you try to follow, your body won't cooperate, believe me!), and to CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS PERMANENTLY, which means doing the 'headwork' I spoke about above, analyzing 'why' you overeat and taking steps to change that behavior FOR GOOD, PLUS developing a taste for healthy foods...which trust me, is only going to happen if you follow the program ALL THE WAY! It can't happen if you 'take a break' every vacation, or every time you get sick, or every weekend, or every step you have a stressful day, or....you name it.
We can all think of a million excuses why NOT to do it. But throw your excuses away. Decide that this is IT, one way or the other. You are going to put your head down and DO IT this time, 100%, and you aren't going to let anyone or anything deter you from staying OP.
If you follow the above 10 rules? You CAN get to goal.
Oh - one FINAL word...an 'addendum', if you will:
#11). YOU WILL FALTER.
Sooner or later everyone does. "Life goes on", it doesn't come to a half because you're doing this program, and you will still have problems, you will still have bills, the kids will still get sick, YOU will still get sick, you will still have stress and your job may be a big pain and you had a fight with your DH etc etc.....
And there will still be vacations, holidays, birthdays, 'events', donuts at work, you name it!
So you're human...and with all this happening around you, plus the CONSTANT BOMBARDMENT by the food industry we're all faced with in this country, and it's inevitable that sooner or later, you will stumble, you will fall, you will overeat, you may even binge.
BUT...!!! What you do AFTERWARDS can make all the difference in the world. You can STILL GET TO GOAL (I did and YES I faltered! YES I stumbled! YES I even BINGED!)
You know how?
YOU GET.BACK.UP. You get back OP the next day and you make your mind up and you LEARN FROM IT.
"Fall down 8 times, get UP 9 times." That's all there is to it.
So if you have a problem and you go off program, STOP with the self-punishment, already. You're HUMAN.
Just get back OP and LEARN YOUR LESSON from it. (every failure is a lesson!)
Good luck! YOU CAN DO IT!
Keep on keepin' on
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