Stuffing down Feelings with little bits of Food....!

Last night while making dinner it dawned on me.

I was putting together a cheeseburger for hubby (he's not on this program although he COULD stand to lose about 30 lbs...sigh..."You can lead a horse to water"...) and it occurred to me how absurdly EASY it would be to quick shove a piece of cheese into my mouth. 

In fact, little things like that were what I'd do all the time before TSFL. It's why I was overweight! Those stupid little "2 milliseconds" of decision made the difference between being fat and miserable and slim and proud of myself. That's all! A piece of cheese here, a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar there. "Hey, it's PROTEIN, right?" I'd reason. "It's GOOD for me."  (yeah, RIGHT...)

Ah, the BLTS - bites, licks and tastes -- and how ingrained they can be!  I remember the first couple weeks OP and how my hand would automatically start moving towards my mouth and I'd have to STOP myself. And boy, are those moments important! Because every time that happens you're becoming AWARE of your bad habit (and awareness is KEY, of course...Step 1) and then I'd have to stop myself and go "Whoa! Where did THAT come from?" (which is Step 2 - analyze the behavior and try and see what leads up to it).

And usually? It was something minor, and it was a feeling, an emotion that maybe made me a little ... uncomfortable. That's all.  Just a little uncomfortable.

Maybe something happened during the day that I didn't like. Some small interaction, did that person misinterpret me? Did I do/say the right thing? Maybe it was an annoyance with DH over ..'whatever'...as much as I love him there are plenty of times when his behavior mystifies me.

Maybe it was anticipation of something I had coming up, or just the night ahead. A thousand different thoughts could cause me to suddenly feel 'not great' and look down and decide that that tiny bit of 'whatever' that was right there, available and easy to jut gobble up quick, was the perfect antidote to my feelings -- a quick 'fix'.

And then, of cousre, I'd get rid of "Problem or Feeling #1", the original feeling/anxiety/whatever, and replace it with "Problem #2" -- which was "Oh NO I overate I'm not OP anymore what will that do to my weigh-in did it affect ketosis Oh NO I blew it again what's wrong with me I'll never get this right I'm just meant to be fat forever that's all, and why am I even BOTHERING?"

Followed, of course, by the inevitable remorse and battle inside about getting "back OP" or "why don't you just eat what you want the rest of the night, you blew it anyway?"

What's so STUPID about this is...the discomfort I wind up feeling over one small piece of cheese far outweighs the ORIGINAL discomfort or anxiety or whatever that I ate to squash down!

In other words -- FEELING MY FEELINGS isn't as bad as I worry it will be!

The fear of actually FEELING my feelings causes me to stuff them down with food.

What is it Winston Churchill said?
"We have nothing to fear but fear itself".
So TRUE!

Just facing that original emotion, having the guts to feel your feelings, is the answer to avoid this awful merry-go-round in the first place!

And 99 times out of 100, whatever I was worried about in the first place doesn't turn out to be a big deal!  The person I was afraid might have misunderstsood me or 'thought I was nuts' might NOT have done so at all! In fact, most people are too hung up on themselves to get all upset over little things other people do or say. I mean, everyone is a little ego-centric when you stop and think about it.

In my exercise classes I'm always amused at how the women worry over "how they'll look" and whether or not they can do the moves "perfectly". (which DUH...even the instructors sometimes don't do ALL the moves perfectly ALL the time). 
Which is why the newbies always wind up in the back. They're afraid to be in front! "Everyone will watch me".

Know what? NOT TRUE!  "Everyone" is too busy worrying about how them THEMSELVES are doing to stand there and critique your performance! LOL.

...and who CARES? You're there to MOVE YOUR BODY. You aren't there to 'perform'. You aren't being 'graded'. No one is going to 'kick you out' because you're 'doing it wrong'. In fact if you're doing it wrong, a GOOD instructor will (gently) correct you! So you don't INJURE yourself, and can get the most benefit out of the exercises. That's all! NOT to embarrass you.

Half the time I smile and half the time I wanna SHAKE some of these women. It's not a CONTEST! Sheesh!  LOL...

We are all "in our own heads". That's where we 'live', right?

BUT...you CAN change your thought patterns. You can reverse the "I'll just have this real quick" scenario by being aware, and by questioning your own true motives when your hand first starts moving towards your mouth.

If something is bothering you, make an effort to feel that feeling instead of "stuffing it down". You may wind up finding that surprisingly, it isn't so bad!  You won't die from it. You can handle it. In fact I would venture to guess that most of us here are a LOT stronger than we know.

You solve your problems with your HEAD and your HEART, -NOT- your stomach.

EATING solves nothing -- it just pushes those feelings down (where they can grow exponentially like some crazed mushroom in the dark) and gives you a NEW problem -- cheating! Right? Who needs it? Who needs EITHER problem?

Live your life with purpose, and try to get into living for NOW. Instead of fixating on the past (which is over, we can't do thing ONE about it) or the future (which who KNOWS what will happen, right?)

I'm reading an incredible book right now called "The Power of NOW" by Eckhard Tolle. It's deep...way deep. And it's definitely not a coffeetable browsing kind of book. But the concepts are AMAZING.

Here's a quote that resonated with me:

"When you create a problem, you create pain. All it takes is a simple choice, a simple decision: no matter what happens, I will create no more pain for myself. I will create no more problems. Although it is a simple choice, it is also very radical. You won't make that choice unless you are truly fed up with suffering, unless you have truly had enough.  And you won't be able to go through with it unless you access the power of the NOW. If you create no more pain for yourself, then you create no more pain for others. You also no longer contaminate the beautiful Earth, your inner space, and the collective human psyche with the negativity of problem-making".

His point, of course, is we CREATE OUR OWN PROBLEMS.

And think about that for a second. How many times have you imagined a problem, only to find you worried for NOTHING?  How many times have you stressed out over something that was beyond your control? (how about those daily weigh-ins? Can you control what the scale says? Really? To that degree? Weight fluctuations DO happen no matter how 'good' you are. Why are you creating problems for yourself by doing this to yourself when you can ELIMINATE the problem altogether by weighing weekly to get a truer picture overall, and just concentrate on STAYING OP?) 

How many times have you had a miscommunication with your DH or friend or co-worker or family member? And spent hours worrying and agonizing over nothing?

How many times have you worried about your job, only to find out that your boss isn't going to fire you tomorrow, in fact he was impressed with your performance?

WE CAUSE OUR OWN PROBLEMS! 

Today, I will be AWARE of those 'little feelings' sneaking up on me. I challenge you to do the same! NOTICE how often those feeling correspond with your cravings. One leads to the other!

Cut the cycle, change the script, by QUESTIONING your 'usual' behavior and way of thinking. It can result in less cravings, less struggles, and more weight loss....easier than you thought possible!

Don't agonize or stress....just get tough with your behavior and STAY OP. Put that piece of cheese or that spoon DOWN. Quick, pour it down the drain or into the garbage. YOU DON'T NEED IT. You're a big girl now, you can face your problems head on...IF in fact they ARE problems! What if you simply, 'let it go'?  Is it WORTH it?

If it's something that's truly bothering you, SPEAK UP. You have a right to be treated decently, you have a right to live your life the way you want to.

Remember the serenity prayer....

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference."

Keep on keepin' on!

--
Linda

Linda Leiby
"You can DO this!"
Take Shape for Life Health Coach
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