BELIEVE in yourself!

If I were granted one wish, and one wish only, I would wish for a giant infusion of self-confidence and belief in yourself - for everyone here. 

I would grant the gift of belief that you CAN do this, you can lose the weight -- and not only can you lose the weight, but you can change on the INSIDE and grow in confidence, maturity, patience and self-love -- while shrinking on the OUTSIDE.

What does all this self-confidence and self-love stuff have to do with losing weight?
After all, all I have to do is stay OP, right? Eat my 5 MF meals and 1 L&G every day and that's that;  the weight will come off.  Why bother with all this 'headwork' and 'self analysis' and stuff about 'fat brain'?

If you've come here to shed 5-10 lbs of vanity weight....maybe even 20 lbs...because you feel you have too much belly fat, or you have 'thunder thighs' or whatever...then YES, maybe you don't need to do all that headwork. If you're basically a 'normal' eater; (you know, the kind of person that can 'save' half a candy bar or stop eating chips or nuts after 1 oz. worth), if you KNOW when you're 'full' and you've never considered yourself a food addict or someone who fixates on food or diets....then OK....your eating habits just got a little sloppy. All you need is advice like 'eat slower' and 'put your fork down between bites' and 'don't eat after 8 pm' and 'eat more veggies and lean protein'. Fine.




In which case I submit that ANY diet will work for you....you just came here because it's purported to be FAST, right?  So for you, drinking more water, and eating more salads -- i.e., cultivating healthier eating habits -- is probably going to work for you. You'll lose the few pounds you have to lose and be on your merry way.

BUT.....!

If you're like me.....if you have a lot of weight to lose -- and/or food has become a PROBLEM for you, an addiction, and you find yourself battling an unending desire to stuff your face, and you've been on diet after diet only to regain again and again....
If the charts say you're obese...if FOOD has begun to take over your LIFE...if your weight seesaws and yo-yos up and down the scale, and your eating plan seems to be 'feast or famine', diet or binge, over and over and over again...

Then you're going to have to do MORE than just stay OP to get the weight off and KEEP IT OFF.

You're going to have to do some serious analysis and headwork regarding WHY you've come to rely on food to solve so many of your problems.

Because that's what we DO, right?  We use food to solve our problems!
It sure was what I did...!
FOOD was my answer to....well, just about everything.
If I got angry, I "stuffed it down" with whatever goodie I could get my hands on.  Because "nice girls don't get angry" (how unbelievably STUPID is that?  The premise that young girls, who became young women, could NOT express their own anger and had to be ashamed of it?  Yet millions of us were brought up that way.  And now, we can't express -- or even allow ourselves to FEEL -- anger!)
So we 'self medicate'. We shove our favorite food into our mouths and shut ourselves up and 'numb' ourselves by going into a 'food trance'....where you can't feel ANYTHING.  You're escaping. Not dealing with your feelings but running away from them.  NOW the only thing you have to think about, or feel, is the fact that you 'blew it again' (your latest diet). It's easier to fixate on THAT, and punish ourselves and berate ourselves (food binges are a form of self-hatred, gang....) then to face our angry feelings and express them, get them out, and allow ourselves to FEEL.

If I was tense or nervous or anxious, food calmed me down. If I was frustrated, food gave me something else to focus on temporarily. If I were grief-stricken or depressed or lonely or sad -- food made me FEEL better.

There were times in my life when I truly felt that FOOD was my 'only friend'. It always was there for me. Never deserted me. And I could count on it to always taste the same, so I could have a 'party in my mouth' and forget all my troubles.

TEMPORARILY.

Ah....the magic word. TEMPORARY.  That's all it was. A temporary 'band-aid' on a long-term problem which all boiled down to my inability to face my own feelings and fears because I was afraid I couldn't deal with them. Afraid I wasn't 'worth it'. I wasn't good enough. Would NEVER be 'good enough'. 
Because I wasn't perfect, I didn't deserve to be ....well, ANYTHING, really other than a big fat FAILURE. 

After all, I was so SMART and got straight As in school!  My parents had great expectations of me!  Mom swore I should become a lawyer....(I think she secretly hoped I'd be the first woman President LOL).  Dad ... well, he had the old-fashioned idea that I should just 'marry well' and be a great 'companion' and 'hostess' to a successful ambitious Executive of some type. My parents' values were all hung up on money and success and power....because they had grown up in the Depression when just having enough FOOD on the table was a struggle. They didn't want their little girl to struggle, they wanted me to have things in abundance. And that was acting out of LOVE! 
I don't blame them for their values....they did what they thought was right.

But somewhere along the line my thought processes became skewed.....because of course, life doesn't always 'fall into line' the way we planned, does it? I didn't become the next Liberace, despite many many piano lessons and even a recital at which I was the 'grand finale'. I didn't become the next great singer, despite being in the Choir and even having a solo at one point. I didn't become a lawyer because I quickly saw that lawyers have to deal with a lot of b.s......let's face it....LOL....and I just couldn't see myself doing that.

To be honest I didn't know WHAT I wanted to do.

And there's nothing wrong with that! MILLIONS of college kids don't know what they want. Everyone changes as their lives evolve....I read someone that the average person switches careers 3 to 7 times! (check this out here: http://careerplanning.about.com/b/2014/02/21/how-often-do-people-change-careers.htm).

So why do we think we have to 'have all the answers' and have 'everything figured out'? 

NO ONE DOES!  We are all searching....exploring...learning about ourselves every single day.  And there is no 'one right answer' for anyone.

Perfection DOES NOT EXIST. So why are we punishing ourselves because we aren't perfect? Why can't we relax and just 'be' who we are?

Here's an excerpt from a book I'm currently reading that is eye-opening:

Believe in Yourself
There is no one that knows you better than yourself.  Yes, it's true that we have been taught to look to others for our answers, but only you know what works for you and what doesn't.  Therefore, you should never let others' opinions define who you are.  They don't know you well enough. This doesn't mean that what other people have to say is not valuable, but you must realize that it is purely their opinion and not necessarily true for you.  Over time, you will go through many trials and tribulations in order to have a better appreciation of and trust in yourself.  But in order to reach this awareness, you must be willing to withstand the critical opinions and beliefs of others and see those opinions and beliefs for what they are -- merely someone else's point of view.
It doesn't matter what others think of you if you are fulfilling your life's purpose.  If you worry about what other people think or say, you give away your power, and that is a surefire way to live an unfulfilled life.  You must not try to be like others.  Be original.  Speak differently, act differently, and work differently.  A spiritless person lacks courage and energy.  Remember the child you once were?  Before you were called a hurtful name or told to shut up and stay out of sight, there was that wonderful child filled with imagination and wonder.  You felt you could do and be anything.  That child is the essence of who you are.  That wonder is till there inside.  It is your limitless spiritual power.
Difficulties come and go.  Money is made and lost.  But YOU will never cease to be.  You have control over your will and therefore, your life.  It doesn't matter what role you play, whether it is a servant or head of state;  it is what you do with your role that matters.  Don't try and play someone else's role; play your own.  Do the most with what you are given.  Knowing yourself is the source of change for your life.  We change our reality by changing what is within us.  This is our place of wholeness.  The more we take responsibility for our reality, the quicker we will grow. 
But you must be vigilant. You can't think positively one minute, then tell yourself that you are worthless the next.  Consistent, persistent thoughts, words, and deeds are the key to change.  Only then can you illuminate deep-rooted problems, perceive them for just what they are, and not let them define and feast you.  You will begin to experience life in a brand-new way.  Your fears and negative emotions will no longer imprison you.  You really will become the liberate whole being you always were, and you will feel free to life life to the highest expression of your being.  As the saying goes, 'The truth shall set you free'.
-- from "Unfinished Business", by James Van Praagh

Think about that line I've underlined:
We change our reality by changing what is within us.

That, my friends, is what we call HEADWORK arond here!  Changing what's INSIDE. What makes us TICK. 

We need to BELIEVE IN OURSELVES.  Somewhere along the way, for whatever reason(s) (I've given you some of mine, I'm sure you can remember events in your own life that shaped who you are and maybe shook your self-confidence), events in our lives have conspired to make us feel "less than worthy" -- of success, of love, of even having a beautiful slim body!

So we ATE our problems away.

If you're like me, and you can look back on past hurts and problems and see yourself 'hitting the frig' to cope, every time -- then you need to build up your own self-confidence and learn how to take better CARE of yourself in general. You need a giant infusion of SELF LOVE!  It's what I keep 'preaching' here because it was the one elusive 'answer' to my food addiction that took me the longest to grasp.

We think of EVERYONE....but ourselves. We take care of EVERYONE....but ourselves.
We run around day after day accomplishing all sort of 'things' for everyone and everything else....our jobs, our families, 'society', whatever. We all have pressures every single day.

Yet we never take the time out to really ask ourselves what WE want. What will make US happy.

I challenge you, as you work through this program, to use those moments that you 'used' to spend eating (because let's face it, those small meals are gone pretty quickly and the one big thing we're given here is TIME to analyze 'why' we're 'still hungry' even though physically we're well nourished) to figure out WHAT YOU WANT our of YOUR life.

Not what others want, or expect, from you. What YOU truly want.

Maybe you always wanted to learn how to paint, or to para-sail, or to go to Egypt. Maybe you love to sing but haven't done it in years because you're 'not good enough'. Maybe you want to switch careers but you're afraid of change and the upset it may cause your family.

If you truly want it, GO FOR IT.  What's the worst that could happen?  You will at least have TRIED.  You will have conquered your fears of failure and given yourself the opportunity to really spread your wings and become whoever you want to become! 

And that can not only make staying OP easier....(because you're HAPPIER!) but it can make you a better human being. And you'll have to do less 'coping' with cravings and urges because you won't have those feelings as often because....you're living a fulfilled and interesting LIFE!  Who has TIME to overeat when they are so busy, so involved in living a happy LIFE? 

Think about it.  CONFIDENCE is something that we all need. And you only build that by loving YOURSELF.  Sit down and make a list of all your good qualities. Then make a list of things you'd LOVE to do "if you had a million dollars" LOL.  You might be surprised to find that some of those things don't require lots of money....they just require you to take a deep breath and TRY them!

Keep on!

--

NOTE: Definitions for those not on the Take Shape For Life program using Medifast meals:

DH – ‘Dear Husband’

OP – ‘On plan’ (meaning staying on the 5/1 food program).

For more info on TSFL, click here.