On
this
program, many of us almost quite literally come out of our
'shells', sometimes
for the very first time, and learn how to stand UP for ourselves
and get what
we need instead of being pushovers all the time. Assertiveness
is a
byproduct of our self improvement as we deal with the food
pushers in our
lives.
But it's even MORE important sometimes to say NO to....ourselves!
Because we have an inner voice that is always keeping us company, whispering in our ear "You deserve this", or "Just one bite won't hurt", or "Do the program tomorrow".
I like to call this inner voice "Fat Brain" for lack of a better term....Fat Brain is that hedonistic, animal nature inside that could care less about what's right; about what we KNOW we should do in terms of our eating; all fat brain wants, is to go back to our OLD ways.
Eat eat eat and "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!" Fat brain IGNORES all of our promises we made to ourselves. She doesn't care about the future, all she cares about is doing what you 'always' USED to do....EAT. If you eat, you will 'feel better' (yeah, for about 30 seconds...)
Fat brain doesn't CARE about the goals you so carefully made to get the weight off, all the lists of 'reasons why' you wanted to lose weight, all your dream 'timetables' of weight loss ("Let's see if I lose 10 lbs by June, then...and then by July 4th I'll be...." ...oh yeah I played that game!), etc. She doesn't care about calories or how you look or even how you FEEL when you can't button your jeans up in the morning. All she cares about is doing what you ALWAYS did....which is, whatever is easiest....whatever you USED to do...EAT. She craves that 'quick hit' of sugar+fat+carbs+salt that sends you into a food trance and makes the world 'go away'...at least for a short (very short) while.
The most interesting thing about Fat Brain though, to me, is that she's part of YOU. Therefore she has ALL your experiences...good and bad, and all your intelligence - and she will USE this knowledge to argue with you just as you're hitting a weak point or your weight loss has stalled. She will put forth the most illogical explanations on Earth and you will believe her. Things like "I'm constipated. I need to move my bowels. EAT something quick - so I'll be able to go to the bathroom and eliminate this BALL that's stuck in my gut".
OR "I'm having a horrible day today. NOTHING is going right. There's only one thing I can count on and that's my friend - FOOD (insert beautiful picture of your favorite goodie here). THINK how much BETTER you'll feel when you eat that! It's OK...you NEED it today. All this STRESS...it must be burning calories, right? You NEED IT!"
Fat Brain makes NO sense when you really get down to it, when you really STOP AND THINK about her words.
But it's even MORE important sometimes to say NO to....ourselves!
Because we have an inner voice that is always keeping us company, whispering in our ear "You deserve this", or "Just one bite won't hurt", or "Do the program tomorrow".
I like to call this inner voice "Fat Brain" for lack of a better term....Fat Brain is that hedonistic, animal nature inside that could care less about what's right; about what we KNOW we should do in terms of our eating; all fat brain wants, is to go back to our OLD ways.
Eat eat eat and "damn the torpedos, full speed ahead!" Fat brain IGNORES all of our promises we made to ourselves. She doesn't care about the future, all she cares about is doing what you 'always' USED to do....EAT. If you eat, you will 'feel better' (yeah, for about 30 seconds...)
Fat brain doesn't CARE about the goals you so carefully made to get the weight off, all the lists of 'reasons why' you wanted to lose weight, all your dream 'timetables' of weight loss ("Let's see if I lose 10 lbs by June, then...and then by July 4th I'll be...." ...oh yeah I played that game!), etc. She doesn't care about calories or how you look or even how you FEEL when you can't button your jeans up in the morning. All she cares about is doing what you ALWAYS did....which is, whatever is easiest....whatever you USED to do...EAT. She craves that 'quick hit' of sugar+fat+carbs+salt that sends you into a food trance and makes the world 'go away'...at least for a short (very short) while.
The most interesting thing about Fat Brain though, to me, is that she's part of YOU. Therefore she has ALL your experiences...good and bad, and all your intelligence - and she will USE this knowledge to argue with you just as you're hitting a weak point or your weight loss has stalled. She will put forth the most illogical explanations on Earth and you will believe her. Things like "I'm constipated. I need to move my bowels. EAT something quick - so I'll be able to go to the bathroom and eliminate this BALL that's stuck in my gut".
OR "I'm having a horrible day today. NOTHING is going right. There's only one thing I can count on and that's my friend - FOOD (insert beautiful picture of your favorite goodie here). THINK how much BETTER you'll feel when you eat that! It's OK...you NEED it today. All this STRESS...it must be burning calories, right? You NEED IT!"
Fat Brain makes NO sense when you really get down to it, when you really STOP AND THINK about her words.
So THAT is how you stop her. You STOP yourself and you ANALYZE, carefully and dispassionately, and very very logically, what she is trying to say to you. You pick her arguments apart.
But you also recognize that sometimes, it doesn't matter...you can argue till the cows come home and she still won't shut up and leave you alone.
What I do then is I always picture a 4-year-old in a grocery cart. She's pulling the shiny candy wrappers off the shelves when Mama isn't looking...because she WANTS that shiny pretty wrapper, and she can HEAR the jingle in her head (it's amazing how far back we hear and remember the jingles and slogans....Frosted Flakes, they're "GRRRRRREAT"! Remember that one? LOL....children are totally susceptible to ads like these, jingles like these, and they believe them wholeheartedly). She doesn't CARE what's right or wrong...she just wants what she wants and she wants it NOW.
It's up to MAMA to say "NO". To be the disciplinarian and the ADULT. And sometimes, Mama has to resort to the old "Because I SAY SO, that's why" because you can't argue rationally with an irrational child.
Fat Brain is an irrational child. She doesn't care about logic, not really. She'll 'try' to make her arguments sound logical, but that's just a TRICK. A trick to get you to pay attention. In reality she's all about one thing...doing what you ALWAYS DID BEFORE. Doing what is EASIER.
So you have multiple things you need to do here. You need to pull apart her illogic...without getting sucked into an argument...and you need to just say NO in the final analysis....AND you need to 'step away' and NOT let Fat Brain GET TO YOU.
The analogy about a wave knocking me down, and over....versus standing on the shoreline watching the waves from a safe position...is a good one. Fat Brain's arguments sometimes are like those waves. I can get knocked down by them and 'cave', 'capitulate' and hate myself later....or I can IGNORE the waves and distance myself mentally and emotionally....take a deep breath and put myself on the shoreline instead of in the wave's path.
Doing so PHYSICALLY helps, too. If you're standing in the kitchen? GET OUT OF THERE. Move to another room in your house.
THINK about other ways to 'soothe' yourself or to reward yourself or pamper yourself. Think about taking that nap or that bath or pampering yourself with a facial or doing your nails. Whatever works. Remind yourself that you are only 'X' amount of time from your next MF meal (and plan a good one for yourself, not one you feel you have to 'choke down'. I have NEVER understood this philosophy....honestly. I don't order MF meals I hate! PERIOD! And in two years I can honestly say I still LIKE most of the MF meals. And again, if I didn't like them, I DO NOT reorder them. I don't care if I have to live on brownies...it's possible with the MF program since every meal is interchangeable although I don't do this, I like too many other of the MF meals).
REMIND yourself that you aren't PHYSICALLY hungry but instead are EMOTIONALLY hungry. And emotional hunger will NEVER be satisfied with food. Emotional hunger requires you to dig deep sometimes...and figure out what's bothering you and how to rectify matters....or SOMETIMES, it requires you to IGNORE what's going on and just 'keep on keepin' on!' We overthink and overstress sometimes, tearing our feelings apart, psychoanalyzing ourselves when maybe it's as simple as Fat Brain wants that piece of chocolate, and yet YOU know you shouldn't eat it. (and what the heck are you doing with chocolate in your house anyway? LOL....)
SET YOUR SELF UP for success. Remove yourself physically from the 'scene of the impending crime' (the kitchen) and figure out something else to do to keep busy, then DELIBERATELY 'just say NO' to Fat Brain and turn your thoughts to something else. She can scream all she wants (just like that kid in the grocery cart) but eventually she'll shut up because she'll realize it doesn't do any good!
You CAN say NO to yourself when you need to. You ARE strong enough. All you have to do is get COMMITTED. If your commitment is deep enough, you don't need 'willpower' (personally I HATE that word, I use it as little as possible...), all you need is the desire to move forward and get your great slim body back...the one deep inside you...the one you KNOW is your 'true' self.
YOU CAN DO IT! Every day, every minute, every meal is a new adventure sometimes....but I've found that the days I struggle? Are usually followed by a 'calm' period, an 'easy' period of time.
IF I win the battle against Fat Brain.
If not....well, of course we all know what happens then...we've been there. We cave, we overeat or binge, we hate ourselves, then the cycle has to repeat itself again where we recommit, we decide "NO MORE, I'm OP all the way", once again you're back at "Day 1", etc.
And in the meantime how much damage have you done to your body...AND your soul?
Stay STRONG. Stay COMMITTED. PRACTICE 'just saying NO' to Fat Brain today. I think you'll feel wonderful tonight...knowing you were strong enough to battle her back!
"Back, you beast!" LOL...
Keep on keepin' on!
