Binge Rules

Many of us struggle with binge eating. 

As I continue to unravel the reasons behind my own bingeing, and continue to work on making them 'less and less'.....I've discovered some things that might help.

Here are my 'Bingeing Rules' that I've learned through cold, hard experience.

This is a work in progress (as am I!)....but hopefully this will give you something to think about the next time you binge. And maybe it will even prevent a small binge from becoming a major one!

1.  If you succumb to a binge and go out and buy off program foods?  Whatever you don't finish, THROW OUT and get it out of your house immediately.  And I mean, get it TOTALLY out.  Bury it way way down in the garbage under other stuff so it's too disgusting to retrieve, and get that garbage out ASAP.  The last thing you need is for that food to be haunting you afterwards. 
And don't think you can 'keep it around for your family', because trust me, they won't finish it soon enough....and it will be there, staring you in the face when you're all alone and having an emotional meltdown. Not good!

2.  Do NOT skip your next meal after a binge to 'make up for it'.  OK, I realize you're stuffed right now.  Overstuffed, even.  You're thinking you'd love it if you could swear off food FOREVER.  But make your next meal anyway, as if you were OP.  This does several things:

a).  It keeps you from having to answer embarrassing questions from family members who suspect you've binged if you suddenly announce 'I'm not eating tonight' or just try and get away with a small salad (they will know, believe me).

b).  Your body processes the food pretty darn quickly.  So you WILL be physically hungry just a few hours later -- even though emotionally you don't want to eat -- so at least you'll be eating OP foods again.  If you go the other way, your physical hunger can 'win out', and then, since you 'blew it anyway', guess what you're going to eat?  Nothing good for you, trust me...! LOL

c).  It avoids that "Oh to hell with it -- I'll restart in the morning" thinking that always leads one place - to worsening or prolonging the binge.  Now an extra 500 calories becomes 500 more.  Or more than that! 

Even if you can't finish your L&G or that MF bar that's your next meal (sometimes they taste like cardboard to me after a binge), you're still back OP.  That in itself can make you feel better.  If you really can't finish it, stop eating and throw the rest away.  But do NOT give Fat Brain the excuse that she's hungry again, and that you should eat something ELSE off plan because you 'blew it anyway'.

3).  Go back OP the next morning.  The very next morning, even if it's over a weekend.  If you can, go back OP the very next MEAL (see #2 above)....but at the very least, get back OP the next morning.  As if nothing happened.  

Of course something happened, you know that, but you MUST pick yourself up and start over.  As many times as necessary.  Things always look brighter in the morning.  So plan on getting back OP, have your meals ready, and DO IT.  Don't think about it, just DO IT.  You'll feel better about yourself, believe me. Because the WORST thing that binges do is the damage to ourselves emotionally.  We feel like FAILURES.  We feel like we're worthless, like we have no self control whatsoever, that we'll 'never' solve this binge problem, etc. 

But the thing is?  TIME -DOES- help!  All the experiences you have DO help, as long as you forgive yourself and learn from them.

4).  Do NOT, repeat, NOT!!!!  get on the scale the next morning!  I mean, talk about 'scale shock'.....you will be very very unhappy.  Believe me.  And it will only depress you MORE.  Because the scale will go up a LOT higher than just the actual calories you ate.  You can actually step on the scale and see it go up 4, 5, or more lbs in ONE NIGHT.

HOW is that possible?  You add up the extra calories you ate.  OK, so it was about 2,000 extra calories (that's a big binge, by the way, I've had mini binges a lot less....and I've unfortunately had weekend binges a lot more).  Either way, I guarantee you that you didn't eat 3500 x 5 = 17,500 calories in one night.  

 

That's 5 lbs.  Or even 7000 calories -- that's just 2 lbs!  The thing is, it's water weight, too.  Our bodies retain water during a binge because the body quickly realizes it needs more water to digestive all that extra FOOD.  So the scale is lying to you.

Now, you may say this will work in your 'favor'....it will spur you on to get right back OP ASAP because OMG look at the damage you did.....!!!  But I submit, any sort of 'punishment' you do to yourself always backfires in the end.  Fat Brain is listening.  And she's going “You poor thing!  You should eat something to feel better.  You can't do this, anyway....look, you just UNDID all the good you did in a MONTH'S worth of OP eating.  This program isn't for you. You can't do it.  Might as well give UP!"

Don't go there. 

You've punished yourself enough.....stop punishing yourself and just get back on track.  (need hints?  Read yesterday's blog). 
Bottom line, don't weigh in.....YET.

"YET" is the operative word here.  Wait another day, maybe two.  THEN get on the scale and then you'll see the 'true' amount you gained from your binge.  Which still could be a pound or two....but that's not the end of the world.  You CAN get it back off.

It's a lesson you had to learn.  That's all.

5).  DON'T GIVE UP!  I know you feel like DIRT right now, but if you give up, the binge WINS.  You're bigger and better and smarter than the binge, smarter than Fat Brain, and you CAN figure this out.  You CAN get control over your binges. 

6).  Think about the feelings you were attempting to 'squash' or 'fix' by stuffing them down with food.  At the time, they probably didn't seem important enough to deal with in a sane manner....i.e., talk to a friend, go for a walk, do some exercise to get rid of the stress, soothe yourself with a bath or a nap, whatever. 

It's those nagging 'little' feelings that can lead me into trouble....and I bet it's the same way with you, if you're a binge eater.  You think your feelings aren't that important at the time....you actually DENY YOURSELF from FEELING your own feelings because you feel you aren't ENTITLED to them!  

Why?  

Because there's a lot of worse things in this world, right?  You look around you, you have a decent home, a job and/or family who loves you, what in the world are you upset about?  It's STUPID to feel this way. (however you happen to feel).  So you had a bad day.  You shouldn't feel upset over it. 

The more you tell yourself you aren’t entitled to your feelings, the more the pressure builds up to binge and ‘squash them down’. 

 

Well, guess what.  You ARE entitled to your feelings!  No matter how 'petty' they may seem to you!  The more you 'squash them down' and 'stuff them down', the more Fat Brain is going to WIN, because she's going to say 'Wanna feel better?  And worry about something ELSE?  Something REALLY important?  OK, binge!!!  Then you'll REALLY have something to worry about!"  LOL.

Seriously.  The logic is twisted but it's there, believe me.  It's taken me a long long time to realize some of the weirder aspects of my emotions pre-binge, but trust me, this is a factor. 

Maybe you are angry and you don't know how to express it.  Anger is a tough emotion. We don't want to 'misbehave', right?  We can't yell.  That's not nice!  We have to be in control at all times.  So if we're angry, there must be something wrong with US.

I say, BULL!!!  If you're angry, EXPRESS it.  Get it out. Get on the treadmill and plug an ipod into your ears and sing at the top of your lungs and stomp to the beat.  Go out for a walk or a run and do the same (carefully, beware with the singing out loud in public thing LOL).  Do some housecleaning and beat a rug while you beat your anger out.

Need soothing?  Just feel 'taken advantage of' or like you're 'nothing'?  Been mistreated today?  SOOTHE YOURSELF the right way.  Take a long hot bath.  Take a nap!  Read a junkie book and to HELL with the bills for now.  Do something FUN....just for you.

Get online and type.....write your feelings down in a blog and/or comment on others' blogs.  You'll see you're NOT alone!  And trust me, it's hard to eat and type at the same time LOL.

Find OTHER ways to deal with your emotions, but DEAL with them.
Don't stuff them down. 

Don't say you're not entitled to feel them. 

Because you ARE.
EVERYONE IS.

EVERYONE deserves to be treated with respect and courtesy....and if you weren't today, you have a RIGHT to be angry about it.  You may not be able to go back and give that clerk a piece of your mind (or your boss or co-worker or whatever) but you CAN make up your mind that you won't be treated that way again, and come up with ways to handle it NEXT time. 

While you're at it...

7).  Think about your unresolved issues.  There may be someone in your life that you need to 'have it out' with once and for all.  Express yourself.  ASSERT yourself.  Tell them you don't like the way they treat you, and WHY.  Don't let it fester and eat at you...so that Fat Brain urges you to FEED it!

Maybe you are angry with your DH or DW and can't express it properly.  TRY.  Try anyway.  You may fumble the ball a few times, but if they love you they will stick it out with you and you may just find the lines of communciation get more open than ever! 

This happened with me pretty early on in the program....and I still run into instances where I get angry with DH and find myself wanting to suppress it....but I force myself to get it out.  Even if it's a 'small' thing.  It helps.  Sometimes he doesn't react the way I want him to....he gets mad 'back', and that's AWFUL....but you know what?  I can live through it.  It's OK.  Again, sooner or later, if you love each other, you WILL work it out.

The bottom line with all of this is, when you come down off a binge, and you're hating yourself....(please STOP, by the way....we are our own worst enemies sometimes, aren't we?).....realize that whatever your problem was that you were attempting to solve or soothe or make 'go away'...
THE FOOD WON'T SOLVE IT.
It never does!  It's a LIE. 

Think about this statement: 
"The food is a lie. The truth lies within".

Keep on keepin' on!