Fat Brain!

Good Sunday morning!

It's a beautiful day here in the NE and the skies look powder blue and cloudless...what a wonderful day to get things done. I can't wait to get out in the garden, I can't wait to get my house in order and CLEAN (yep, I said I'm looking forward to cleaning...what is WRONG with me? LOL), I can't wait to start another week.

It still feels like a miracle to me, when I get up and can actually FEEL my hipbones, when I can slide my jeans right on without lying on the bed and gasping for breath, when I can look in the mirror and NOT see a double or even triple-chin staring back at me.


But it's no miracle. It took time, it took patience, it took all the self-love I could muster, it took sweat and tears and lots of prayers and ...most of all, it took HANDLING FAT BRAIN that worked this 'miracle' on my body causing me to lose 70 lbs and get to goal weight.

How did I handle fat brain? (and it's ongoing, gang...it doesn't end with maintenance....)

Bottom line? I tell her to SIT DOWN and SHUT UP.

I picture myself as the bus driver. The 'bus' is my life, my body, and I'm moving in the direction I want to move in with my life, getting things done, taking care of my family, working on my own personal and career goals.

But Fat Brain is a passenger. And she's a very loud, very insistent, very obnoxious passenger.  She has a bunch of allies on the bus, too....Polly Pessimism, Sally Sadsack, Dora Depression, Holly Hopeless and Laura Lazybones to name a few. She enlists the help of these cohorts to exhort me to do what she wants me to do.

And what she wants is always the same. "GO BACK" to what you did before, Linda. "GIVE UP" and "GIVE IN" and ...
here's the biggie:
"EAT WHAT YOU WANT".

Ugh. Those 4 words....how they ruined my life for so many years! How many times did I run to the comfort of food when life got to be 'too much' to handle? (and this was whether the 'threat' was real or IMAGINED!  Half the time it wasn't even a real problem -- I just WORRIED it 'might' become one!  ANXIETY is one of my 'trigger emotions').

Or she would whisper: "ONE WON'T HURT".

Another huge, huge mantra....that I said over and over again.  Even though, every single time, one DID hurt. Because 'one', led to another, and another, and another, until pretty soon I was bingeing again. And hating myself. And all because of that FIRST bite.

You know, I just read an article on food addiction, and the 'experts' all seem to agree that chemical changes take place in our brains, serontonin and dopamine levels get screwed up, etc....but they are beginning to see that for certain people? Sugar and salt and fat, in just the right quantities and configurations, can 'kick off' the desire to binge in a food addict's brain, whereas a normal person will not have that reaction.
Which explains why your husband may be able to eat half a bowl of ice cream, but you can't stop there.

My mother keeps a supply of chocolate in her house...and she eats just a small amount of it every once in awhile when she 'has a craving' (as she calls it).

When I have a craving? I'll eat all the available chocolate that isn't nailed DOWN, and THEN I'll drive to the grocery store and buy more, and I'll continue to eat it until I'm sick to my stomach and literally in PAIN. And then I hate myself and the cycle starts all over again:

- "I screwed up, I have to go back on my diet again."
- "OK so I'm not eating tomorrow...AT ALL...I have to get rid of the damage I did today."
- (tomorrow comes) "I can't not eat at ALL...this is too hard...I'm too hungry...so I'll just eat what I want."
- One bite too many - "Here we go again, I can't stop eating, what is WRONG with me?"

Over and over again...until I finally found the 'prescription' in the Medifast meals and the 5/1 and the TSFL plan. Staying OP REMOVED that sugar+salt+fat combination that set me off. Without eating the trigger foods, my body RELAXED for the first time in years and I wasn't "starving" all the time and I could move on with my day and start working on the EMOTIONAL reasons why I always ran to food.

Because I firmly believe that food addiction is BOTH a physical problem AND an emotional one.
We've learned that food 'solves' our emotional problems...(temporarily....) and it also 'calms' our physical symptoms (again, only temporarily).
So there are times when the temporary 'quick fix' of a hit of our favorite food DOES take care of our immediate problem....but then it very quickly ESCALATES into a binge, which of course kicks the whole cycle off again, 'I have to diet', 'I can't eat tomorrow', etc.

UGH. NO MORE! 

CONTROLLING Fat Brain, NOT LISTENING to her, is KEY.

So what do you do? HOW do you control her?

Well, first of all, I have found that it's better (ultimately) NOT to 'fight' with her.

I don't mean give in...far from it....what I mean is, don't give her more power than she deserves. And she deserves NONE of the power. When you fight with her, you are acknowledging that she is a threat. Don't even go there.

Instead, practice IGNORING her like a little kid, or an unruly passenger on your bus.

Tell her to SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP.

That's all. That's what I do, and I've found it works!

I am the driver of my bus, I'm in control, and I WON'T get sucked into an argument with her, I WON'T fight with her, I simply tell her to SIT DOWN and SHUT UP or I'll 'kick her off my bus'.
(wouldn't it be great if we could do that? Simply get RID of fat brain COMPLETELY? ....AND all her cohorts? Unfortunately that's not possible...because Fat Brain is a part of us).

So we have to deal with her.
But that's how I deal with her.

I am in control. I am the driver, I am the adult, I am the intelligent one, I am the "Mommy" and I KNOW BETTER.

I will NOT be fooled by Fat Brain's games or lies anymore.
I am ever-vigilant, and whenever she pops up and starts talking, I mentally put my headphones on, turn around and say 'SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP', and then continue on my journey.

I don't encourage her to speak up by NEVER bringing off plan foods into my home, by choosing where I eat out very carefully, by planning my meals ahead of time and working my plan, and by keeping busy.

And time passes and I get through the rough patches of my life, the emotional upheavals that always accompany any life, the changes, the ups and downs...WITHOUT turning to my 'crutch', which used to be food.

NOW my 'crutch' is my inner resolve, my strength, my determination to CONTINUE to succeed in controlling my weight.

If I can do it, believe me, YOU can do it.

It takes time...I won't lie to you and tell you it happens overnight. And it WILL take making mistakes. Anyone who tells you they sailed through the entire program AND transitioned easily AND is sailing through maintenance is either lying or wasn't a food addict to begin with. For the true food addict, lessons HAPPEN. And there's a reason for each and every one of them -- if we can learn from them and stop beating ourselves up.

YOU CAN DO THIS. Every morning when you wake up and you brush your teeth, look in the mirror and TELL yourself "I'm going to stay OP today and have a good day".
You'd be amazed at how that little affirmation can make a difference!  Pump YOURSELF up...don't wait for others to do it for you. In the final analysis it's YOUR life and YOUR body, right? NO ONE can do this for you.

Plan your meals and work your plan. Be prepared. Know your triggers. Be eternally vigilant.

...and SUCCESS CAN be yours! 

Keep on!