That darn SCALE!

Oh, how many times, how many mornings, have I RUINED MY DAY by stepping on the scale? LOL....

Seriously. THINK about it. How often have you stepped on the scale and been disappointed by what you saw?

And even though you could TELL yourself it's just 'water retention', or that TOM, or you just exercised yesterday pretty hard or ... whatever.....it still bothers you.
The rest of the day. Right?

Is that WORTH IT?

Listen...here's something I learned and I continue to learn!

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE SCALE.

I know....say 'what'!??? 
What does she MEAN, it's not about the scale! It's ALL about the scale! I have to lose this weight! How ELSE can I judge if I'm successful! I have 80 lbs to lose, for pete's sakes....

OK OK I hear you...calm down....and listen to me.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

Seriously. WHY?

Is it to lose weight?  Of course. Yes. We all want to lose weight.

But is it to JUST lose the weight?

Or is it .... to lose the weight PERMANENTLY?

I mean, do you WANT to have to come back here a year from now, or two years from now, or 6 months from now, having regained all or some of the weight and having to RESTART the 5/1?  UGH....not fun, right?

FREEDOM!

FREEDOM!

A friend sent me the following link to a session Dr. A recently conducted online:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vvOgukStlsM

It's rather a long video....but one point Dr. A made that I heartily agree with (and that resonated with me) was he talked about how we are so into FREEDOM in this country....but in fact, obesity is making more and more of us LESS "free" in our choices and limiting our lives!

And how TRUE that is!

When I was obese, I felt constrained and constricted at every turn. (and NOT just in my clothes....LOL). 

I hated parties, holidays and 'events' with my family because it meant I'd have nothing to wear, as usual....and I'd look for the biggest blackest dress or pantsuit I could find to 'cover up' my bulk. I felt LESS FREE, certainly, at these events, worrying that people would watch what I was eating and might even make comments, worrying that some child or callous individual would make a remark at my expense...worrying most of all about a CAMERA coming out at some point, OOPS...where can I HIDE? Where's the nearest CHILD I can plop down on my lap to hide my stomach? Can I stand in the back PLEASE?

Be careful with your WORDS!

Ever stop to think about how the words, the exact, precise words you use in your own head as well as to others, can influence your behavior?
Sometimes even to the extent of staying OP versus NOT staying OP?

It's true! What we TELL ourselves becomes our REALITY.
For instance, just yesterday I was picturing an upcoming family event that will take place in May. ("Rehearsing" my behavior in advance has become a habit with me!  When you do this ahead of time, and you sort of 'practice' what you'll say, how you'll act, what you'll eat, etc....it's like your brain has already 'been there done that'; so that when you get to the actual event, staying OP becomes easier!  Really!  Give it a try sometime...)
Anyway. A favorite Aunt is turning 83 -- and our family is planning a surprise birthday party for her.

So I pictured saying hello to my nephew -- who I haven't seen in almost a year but is planning to travel to be there.  And I imagined him saying something like "Wow, Aunt Linda, you're still looking good You're keeping the weight on!" (having heard this sentiment before).

And I pictured my own response, and what I imagined saying was "Yeah, well, I'm TRYING!" (I pictured myself surrounded by unhealthy food choices as is the usual fare at these types of events).

Wait. I'm TRYING?!?

RELAX, already!

In Pilates class today, I was struck by how many people seemed to be showing up 'late' or leaving 'early'. 

 

Those parts of the class - at the very beginning and the very end - are when we do our 'relaxation' routine...lying on our mats with our eyes closed, the instructor gently telling us to relax different parts of our bodies, etc.

Yet the women don't seem to think it's worth the time.

...are they THAT busy?  I even had one girl say to me once, "I love this class...BUT I don't like the beginning when we relax...it's so not necessary. I come here for the WORK, you know?"

...and my mouth dropped open and I said something about relaxation being important but she wasn't listening, and I could see that...so I thought "What's the use?" and just sort of nodded and smiled.

I mean, to each his own, right?

But relaxation IS important. It's SO important.

In Pilates, we relax our muscles -- and our bodies and minds in general -- ahead of time to prepare for the work ahead.

Pilates, to be done right, demands your full concentration. Because it's not just about doing the exercises. It's about making sure your form is correct...perfectly aligned...which takes some doing to do properly (your posture, stomach held in, limbs stretched appropriately, toes either pointed or flexed, etc.), but it's also about your breathing as well (Pilates breathing differs from yoga breathing or normal breathing!)
It takes practice just to do the breathing properly. You have to pull in your stomach muscles, and breathe from your chest, inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth.
It's not easy (took me six months LOL).

And that's not even counting the exercises themselves!

Streamlining!

Spring is finally here and it's finally showing up in warmer weather here in the NE, not just on the calendar. Everything's coming alive again...the snow is all gone at LAST...and my daffodils are all coming up, which makes me very happy!
(I've attached a picture of some of my homegrown daffodils and hyacinths I ran around and cut out of the garden yesterday....the hyacinths smell wonderful!)

And the change in the air is palpable. It's a warm, wonderful change....and hard-won after a long, cold, snow-filled Winter!

This time of renewal and change is so refreshing, the air smells so heavenly, that I ran around opening up all the windows when I got home from the gym today. 

And all 5 cats followed me, and eagerly ran from window to window...sniffing the air, watching the birds and the squirrels, and sunning themselves.

Meanwhile, over the weekends, hubby and I are cleaning and consolidating and streamlining our lives;  and decluttering wherever possible.

It's amazing how much JUNK you can accumulate over the years! "I might need this"....and three years later you're like, "WHY am I keeping this?"  LOL.....

He's cleaning out the garage, little by little...while I declutter and clean the house.

All this cleaning out and streamlining makes me think about how I streamlined my TSFL program and journey....and how that was KEY to my success in reaching goal.

What IS 'full', anyway?

Yesterday at lunchtime I was starving. (what else is new? LOL)....

No, seriously. I was incredibly hungry for some reason. Sometimes, it just happens...even though I eat on a normal 2-4 hour schedule (preferably 3 hours; that's perfect for me).

Part of it is emotional hunger, not physical. (and I consider the fact that I can SEE that a victory!....for too many years, I couldn't understand that, all I knew was that I was 'hungry'). 

If I've had a particularly busy morning, either working out, or -- in this case -- 'fighting' with my computer (I bought a new DELL laptop and setting it up is time-consuming), I tell myself "I worked SO HARD, I DESERVE to eat more."

Ever done that?

The old 'I deserve it' excuse. UGH.

Finding out who I AM!

A strange thing seems to happen when we go through our MF journeys and lose the weight....sometimes, we find OURSELVES!

I've been feeling, more and more lately, that I'm "coming into my own", really finding out who I AM after all these years.
(Which is weird, at age 58, to say the least! LOL!)

But without the "shoulds" in my life -- you know, I "should" be a good daughter, I "should" be a good student, I "should" be a good neighbor and a " good girl" and all the rest -- many of which I seem to have DISCARDED (or greatly revised, anyway) along the way, I'm discarding all the stuff I don't really want to do or be and instead doing what I want to do for a change. What a revelation!

It's nothing drastic, mind you. It's not like I'm suddenly going to become a bank robber or stripper or something (God forbid! LOL!)
BUT....it's little things, little changes I've made in my responses to people sometimes, in the number of times I've had to say 'NO' to food pushers, in the inner strength I've had to develop to STAY OP that has 'carried over' into other areas of my life!  It's in my attititude about things that has strengthened me inside and made me into a stronger, more confident woman.

Fat Brain!

Good Sunday morning!

It's a beautiful day here in the NE and the skies look powder blue and cloudless...what a wonderful day to get things done. I can't wait to get out in the garden, I can't wait to get my house in order and CLEAN (yep, I said I'm looking forward to cleaning...what is WRONG with me? LOL), I can't wait to start another week.

It still feels like a miracle to me, when I get up and can actually FEEL my hipbones, when I can slide my jeans right on without lying on the bed and gasping for breath, when I can look in the mirror and NOT see a double or even triple-chin staring back at me.

Motivation!

I've been thinking a lot today about motivation.

I actually got myself a bit confused, because I've read a lot of blogs that say things like 'I need motivation', and to me, we're already motivated, right? I mean, we already want to lose the weight. The desire is there. So I was like, 'What's the big deal? You're ALREADY motivated...you just have to DO it!"

But the desire itself is not motivation.

So I looked up the definition of motivation. And the actual definition is that it is the 'driving force' that compels us to do certain things (i.e., stay OP, exercise, work on our headwork, etc.) to achieve a certain goal.

So we need to start with a goal....and then stay COMPELLED to achieve it.

Our goal here is to lose the weight. Right?
Who DOESN'T want to lose the weight? Show of hands?
Nope, no hands are up....No takers.
WE ALL want to lose weight.
And we ALL want to lose it PERMANENTLY.
Right? (I mean, who wants to lose the weight 'temporarily'? 
Raise your hands...LOL....I don't see any takers.)