Lost your Mojo?

Over the holidays, like many of you, I 'lost it'.  Lost my mojo completely.  Fat Brain talked me into 'letting it all go' and just eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted -- once again telling me that I could ALWAYS go back OP 'afterwards' and re-lose the weight.

The stupidity of that seems obvious now -- I mean, why open that can of worms again?  Why experience the bloated stomach, puffy face, nausea, actual stomach PAIN from eating too much;  and most of all, the self-hatred that occurs when I'm bingeing?

Because make no mistake.....for me?  I'm either OP or I'm bingeing.  I can TELL myself I'm just 'eating normally' or 'eating what I want', but if I really sit down and log all the sludge I ate on any given day over the holidays....whoa baby, the calories are way way too much!  No wonder I gain weight! 

And here's the thing.  I'm usually STILL HUNGRY.

That's a food addict for you!  It's NEVER enough. 

Yet somehow I always believe the LIE that Fat Brain tells me, that if I eat ENOUGH sludge, I'll "get it out of my system" and by overdosing on it (because let's face it, as a food addict, FOOD is our 'drug of choice') I'll get SO sick and be in SUCH pain that I'll NEVER want to do that again. 

But of course this is a lie....I'm proceeding from a false assumption!

Food addiction is a disease (or addiction or whatever you choose to call it) of PROGRESSION.  That means that, over time, if you don't manage it, if you don't take control over it, IT WILL GET WORSE.

It's easy to see how this happens with me.  One slice of pie is good -- Ooooh, SO good that I want the pleasure to CONTINUE -- and so I'll go for a second, and even a third slice (if I can get away with it).  Or I'll start plotting and planning how to have a whole pie 'all to myself' with nobody the wiser.  That leads to going out on a 'sludge hunt' to the supermarket....buying goodies I don't need in my body and can't afford financially either -- and stashing them and/or gobbling them down to 'hide the evidence'.

Ever been there?  Oh yeah....a true food addict KNOWS what I'm talking about.  It's a sad sad place to be.  But it's happened to me, more than once.

ANYTIME a food is 'too delicious', I get SAD when it's over and Fat Brain immediately starts arguing and negotiating how to get MORE of it. 

"Too much of a good thing" is what brought most of us here, right?

"Moderation" and "eating normally" are difficult concepts for us.  We want the fun to go on and on, and so we completely disregard the fact that our stomachs can only hold so much food, and we overstuff ourselves!

Also, there's the concept I mentioned earlier about DELIBERATELY overstuffing.  I think that's a combination of trying to "get it out of our system" -AND- self abuse!

You got it.  Self abuse.  Yep, that's what I said.  We eat to "treat" ourselves;  to feel good, to experience (more) pleasure -- and then we PUNISH ourselves for doing it because we start worrying over going off plan (even if it was just 100 calories extra) and then we HATE ourselves for being 'weak', and so, what the heck, might as well eat what I want, I blew it anyway, I'm so STUPID, I DESERVE to be fat".

Did you hear what I just said?

We think we DESERVE to be fat.

THINK ABOUT THAT.

CHANGE.....REAL change....can only happen when you begin to see that you DON'T 'deserve' to be fat, it IS possible to be slim and healthy, you CAN take care of yourself properly and be GOOD to yourself by eating RIGHT, and that you, in fact, DESERVE to be the BEST 'You' that you CAN be!

This year, that's what I'm going to strive for.

I won't live in a fearful or uncertain state anymore.  I KNOW the MF 5/1 plan works, so I'll STAY on it, and stop second-guessing and looking into other diets and programs out there (Oh, I know, I know....I've done it myself!  We ALL want a 'better' way.....but in 43 years worth of dieting - I started when I was 16 and am now 59 - I've NEVER found a better, faster, easier, or more enjoyable - yes I said enjoyable - way to lose weight than the Medifast 5/1 meal plan), DESPITE the shenanigans going on at TSFL -- and I'll get back to goal weight and regain my beautiful slim body.  And NO, I'm not perfect and never will be -- I'll NEVER be a size 2 LOL -- but I CAN be the best 'Linda' I CAN be!  I can treat myself WELL by taking care of myself.

By NOT listening to Fat Brain.

You see, it all starts from a feeling of SELF-CONFIDENCE and SELF-LOVE.

If you don't love yourself, you will quickly succumb to whatever treat is in your field of vision.  Because your life is awful, everything is awful, you live in fear' -- fear of saying or doing the 'wrong thing' in front of your boss/spouse/kids/friends -- instead of just being YOU.

Living YOUR truth.  Realizing that you are a valuable person just the way you are -- even if you're morbidly obese -- and that therefore you will NOT abuse yourself anymore.  Instead you'll treat your body RIGHT by eating healthy and moving in ways you ENJOY.  And if you can't find an exercise you enjoy, DON'T 'force' yourself to do something you hate, because it will eventually backfire.  WAIT -- the right workout program will come to you in time.  Keep your mind and heart open to new ideas, and you never KNOW what good things can come! 

So in a nutshell, this is what I'm going to strive for in 2015:

1).  Each day, 'just for today', I'm going to be ME, express MY truth, and I'm not going to worry about 'what others think' because I am ENTITLED to my opinion, I am a valuable person in my own right and don't need to be or achieve ANYTHING in order to be of value,

2).  Each day, 'just for today', I'm going to LOVE myself and appreciate all I have in this life -- and in so doing, I will take CARE of this body I've been given, and

3).  Each day, 'just for today', I won't fret over what I DON'T have or the way things 'used to be'.  Instead I'll look for new ways to get the support I need on this program.

When I do all 3?  Staying OP is EASY!

YOU can do it too! 

KEEP ON! -- and have a wonderful day today and ALL the days of your life.

Linda
angiecat6@comcast.net