Changing how I FEEL...leads to changing how I REACT!

One of the things I've learned, over the course of my Medifast experience, is to embrace and enhance my spiritual side. 

I know that sounds trite, and I don't mean it to be....but it's the truth.

It started with simple meditation for stress relief.  It's incredibly important to 'center' yourself and reduce your stress if you want to be successful on this program....because otherwise it's all-too-tempting to fall back into using FOOD as an emotional 'crutch'.

I know....I did it for over 50 years!  "Oh no!  A bad thing happened!  Where's the peanut butter?"  LOL...

But seriously. I USED food for too many years.  And I came to realize that of course this was NOT a smart thing to do!  After all, food is NUTRITION, that's all.  It's NOT a bandaid for life.  I had to learn how to handle my life WITHOUT turning to food all the time.

So I learned meditation techniques. And by "meditation" I don't mean sitting in a dark room in the lotus position going 'OOHMM'...LOL...

I just learned some deep breathing techniques and bought several meditation CDs, and read spiritual books.  I found that just lying or sitting quietly and going 'inside' myself and getting in touch with my SOUL was very powerful and helped a lot.  I wanted to get in touch with my deepest needs and desires, with who I want to BECOME in this life, with my PURPOSE in life.

And I learned to embrace the fact that WE ARE 100% IN CHARGE of our lives, of how we EXPERIENCE our lives, no matter what events transpire in our lives!  Our experience flows from our emotions related to events in our lives.  And our emotions flow from what we TELL OURSELVES, based on past experiences, how to REACT to events. 

But we can CHOOSE how to react.  We don't HAVE to react the same way we 'always' did, just because we 'always' did!  We can challenge our own perceptions of events and choose to view them DIFFERENTLY.

And in so doing we can choose to view the 'bad things' that happen in our lives as 'fate', and feel like we're just feathers in the wind, being blown around by the terrible of fate.....
OR
We can realize that we are masters of our OWN destinies, and that, despite whatever happens to us, we can choose to LEARN and GROW from these experiences and become better people as a result.  GROW spiritually!

What a concept!

So....along those same lines, I came to understand that my being obese for as many years as I was, and trying and failing so many weight loss programs and diets, were all part of a JOURNEY, an EVOLUTION...that led me HERE!  To this program and to the goal I had wanted for so very many years.

But ... it IS a journey, and so I had to have NEW events happen in my life, even after hitting goal, and experience them in my own way and learn from them. 

And in so doing I chose how I would feel and thus REACT to every event.  And I either grew from it, or I stagnated and stayed the same.

Here's an example.

Let's say someone cuts you off in traffic.  Now, with lightning speed, your mind processes this information and you CHOOSE how to react emotionally to it.  You can choose to get angry, and give them the finger or go after them (not a very productive solution), or you can get frustrated and just feel depressed over it and tell yourself "Bad things always happen to me" (again, not very productive, is it?  It happens to EVERYONE, you were NOT 'singled out'), OR....
You can shrug and say "That's HIS problem" (the person who cut you off) and even feel SORRY for the person who thought it was so important to get from Point A to Point B that they had to be rude and discourteous and even dangerous by driving that way.

YOU ARE IN CHARGE of how you feel!

The SAME is true with my food addiction.  I've had many many events happen in my life that weren't 'ideal'.  I've had illnesses, I've had fights with my husband, I've been betrayed, I've been mistreated, etc. 

And my REACTION to those events....was usually along the lines of having a not-so-great EMOTION to go along with it.  For example, I would feel anger when my husband and I disagreed or when he raised his voice.  Or feel frustrated when I couldn't have that treat that everyone else was enjoying because I was trying to stay OP.

Those emotions were things I CHOSE, though.  And once I realized that I could CHOOSE my emotions....everything changed.

For instance.  When disagreeing with my husband I could CHOOSE to get angry....or I could look deep inside myself, and ask myself "What GOOD would it do to get angry AGAIN?" and CHANGE my reaction instead.  And calm down...even in the face of HIS anger...and STAY calm and STAY gentle and kind and loving and DEFUSE the entire situation!

I've done this and it WORKS.  It makes me feel better, it makes him feel better....and it enables me to handle arguments with him in a much more productive way.

What about staying OP?  It's the same thing!

We can CHOOSE to feel ... frustrated, depressed, disappointed, angry, upset, stressed, or 'deprived'.....
OR
We can look upon staying OP as an affirmation of our lives and of treating ourselves RIGHT!  Of growing inside, where it counts. Of learning how to handle life's events....good AND bad....without running to FOOD for solace.

Because we CHOOSE how to feel! 

This ONE simple lesson, has led to an incredible change in my whole attitude.  I can see now that despite whatever life hands me, despite the lack of understanding and support from TSFL in terms of this website, and missing my old friends I used to talk to, and all of that....I can choose to look upon this as a GIFT. 

Yes, I said a GIFT.  It's a GIFT because it forces us to find OTHER ways to get the support we want and need.  It broadens my experience and widens my focus from this small community to maybe a large audience...in terms of Facebook, and other websites like MyFitnessPal, etc.  It makes me find other ways to express myself and to share what works and what doesn't work.  And that can be a good thing!

Don't be bitter.  You can CHOOSE NOT to be bitter!  You can choose to instead see this whole thing as a CHALLENGE.

Just like losing weight is a challenge.  It's a challenge, not only physically, but more importantly to your MIND and HEART and SOUL.  To find NEW ways to respond to old events.  Instead of always reaching for the bag of chips...maybe I can change that, and change the emotion as well.  Maybe I can see that I've developed a harmful PATTERN in my life, and that I can CHANGE that simply by deciding to change how I feel!

Here's an experiment that you might find useful.  (I sure did!) 

Make a list of 3 events that happened in your life that were 'bad'...that were the 'worst' things that could happen.

Then next to each item, in the second column, write down what you THOUGHT would happen as a result of that event. 
In the third column, write down what ACTUALLY happened.  And in the fourth column, write down the BENEFIT you got out of the event, long-term.

Here's an example:
- One of my events was getting a divorce from my first husband.  That was a not-great event.  By FAR.
- The second column?  What I thought would happen?  Is I would be alone the rest of my life.
- The third column?  What actually happened?  I met and fell in love with a friend.
- The final column?  The benefit?  I found TRUE love!  (I wasn't really in love with husband #1 but didn't realize it!)

It's a simple exercise but if you do it with your whole heart, and you look for the GOOD in what happened in your life, you can see that the events of your life have been set up to teach you certain lessons!  To cause you to EVOLVE into a better, stronger, happier and more confident person.

Even being obese can be a blessing when it causes you to find a program and a food plan that WORKS to support you nutritionally and lose the weight and gain a whole new chapter in your life!  In terms of being able to do the things you always wanted to do, wear the clothes you always wanted to wear, FEEL about yourself when you look in the mirror like you're the best you CAN be!  It's a challenge, yes, but it can change EVERYTHING.

EVEN....as I said...your EMOTIONS in terms of the 'bad' things that happen to you.  Because you realize that YOU are in charge, and if you don't fall into the 'same ole same ole' emotions....the same reactions...if you CHANGE THE SCRIPT and look for a NEW way to respond, a BETTER way, you CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE.  Permanently.

This coming year, I'm going to resolve to cherish every day INCLUDING the problems and events that happen to me, because they will allow me to get another chance to be my HIGHEST self and stop having the same reaction, over and over again.

LIFE is a series of challenges and events designed to make us question HOW we react to them.  And when we change the reactions, we change the emotions that come out of them, and we can make our lives much much better.

THINK about this as we go into 2015. 

What do YOU want to change about your life? 

And I don't just mean about your weight.  Your weight will reflect the GOOD changes you make in how you HANDLE YOUR LIFE!!!!!  

It's far easier to stay OP when you learn to calm down, and think things through, and slow down your automatic reactions and CHOOSE to react differently.

So this blog?  Isn't about KEEPING ON....it's about CHANGING!   Here's to CHANGE!

Linda
angiecat6@comcast.net