Epic Fail/Fall?......or....Learning Opportunity?

Last night I did something really, really, STUPID.

(hey, I'm not perfect, either! LOL....we are ALL 'works in progress'!).

I had an epic fail...or fall...however you want to phrase it....but as usual, it was my OWN darn fault!

And it didn't even start last night.  It actually started about 3 nights ago....had I been wiser (and I am now!) I would've 'caught it' before it caught ME.

You see, what I did was....we had too much skim milk in the house (I know, this is NOT the end of the world, right? LOL)....no seriously...hubby is the only one who drinks it, because I do the Almondbreeze unsweetened vanilla milk thing now on my cereal and in my coffee....less calories, more protein....and it tastes good!....and therefore I only buy it for him, for use either on his cereal or when I make him macaroni and cheese.  (And believe it or not, that is NOT a trigger food for me.  So it doesn't bother me).

Well, I decided....FOOLISHLY, as it turns out...(from an old habit growing up, my mother would do this)...to make PUDDING out of the extra skim milk.  After all, when you make pudding, you need 2 cups of the stuff, right?  So I asked hubby, "If I make you pudding will you eat it?" 
"Depends", he said.  "What kind?" 
"I don't know...chocolate?"  (he shook his head).
"Butterscotch?"  .... "Yeah, I'll eat that", he said.

OK.  So I made the pudding one night while cooking dinner.  No biggie. And I decided to put it in two large custard cups making 2 large, 2 serving servings.  He's a big guy, no big deal, right?  Plus I won't have to look at 4 custard cups all week and maybe wind up throwing them out, etc.

My husband is NOTORIOUS for leaving stuff go bad in the frig.  I should've factored that in.

But NOOOO.....I had to go with it, right?

So I make the pudding, stick it in the refrigerator, and it proceeds to sit there, mocking me for the next 3 days.  While hubby made NO attempt to eat it.

I reminded him....and reminded him again.  He kept promising me, 'leave me be, I'll get to it when I get to it'.

Well, he's a NORMAL eater!  It doesn't bother him that it's sitting there.  Not one bit.

But not me!  Oh NO! 

So last night I'm getting ready for bed....I'm tired...I'm in pain...long day, exercise at the gym, etc., and he's in bed already....and that stupid pudding starts talking to me. 

"Linda....I'm here....oh for pete's sakes, 1 BITE won't kill you!  Just to see what it tastes like".

(ever say that to yourself?  As if suddenly the food was going to taste differently from when you remembered it....or that you had to 'refresh' your memory....give me strength!!!)

So I resisted and resisted and then.....I caved.

I knew one bite wouldn't cut it.  I mean, seconds later I'm thinking, "He's never gonna eat this, with one bite taken out of it!  I might as well finish the whole thing.  There's still a whole other custard cup full he can eat".

So I ate it.  And then....the dam burst.  Like it ALWAYS does.  I try to walk away, I really do.  But suddenly it seems as though the chains are OFF and it's PARTY TIME.

UGH.

I don't want to talk about the rest.  Suffice it to say it was NOT pretty and of course, as usual, 5 minutes afterwards I hated myself. 

I knew I 'blew it'.  I'd been good all week, and now who knows what the scale will say when I weight in tomorrow morning.  If I'm lucky, it will be the same weight.  If I'm LUCKY.

And I WANTED it to be LOWER!  ARGH!!!!

WHY do we do this to ourselves?

Because ONE DOES HURT.  Every single time.  And I have to learn that lesson....and you do, too...!  OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again until you finally figure out ALL your triggers....and even then you have to be on the lookout for new ones!

I am using last night, NOT as an 'epic fail or fall'....but as a LEARNING OPPORTUNITY.

I will no longer make things 'for my husband' when he doesn't ask for them and doesn't need them and I know darn well they could be triggers for me.  NO WAY.

I don't care HOW much extra milk we have in the house.  So I pour it down the drain!  Better in the sink than on my BUTT.  Right?  LOL

Live and learn....remember that.  Every time you fail it's an opportunity, NOT an 'epic fall'.

OK?  DO NOT USE THOSE WORDS to describe it to yourself.  It's not an 'epic' anything.  It's just a learning opportunity. 

This morning I woke up and opened a packet of MF berry cereal and started ALL OVER AGAIN.

Like I've done countless times in the past.  And like I will CONTINUE to do;  until I get this RIGHT.

Wishing all of you a great weekend with NO binges! 

Linda Leiby
Alias Catlover77
Certified Take Shape for Life Health Coach
angiecat6@comcast.net