How do you choose to FEEL today?

NOTE: Abbreviations used:
OP - 'On plan' or 'On program', meaning the Take Shape for Life program using Medifast meals, which is how I lost all the weight
Sludge - Any junk food, sugary sweet food, cakes, cookies, chocolate, fattening food! Food that causes me to gain weight, is unhealthy, and can result in a binge because (especially in the case of sugary foods) it 'wakes up' the sugar craving and makes it even harder to stay on my healthy eating plan.

I think a large part of what is needed to stay the course and control our food addiction is to remember how we FEEL after a 'good' day as compared to a 'bad' day! 

It really can be as simple as that.

On a bad day, I am eating basically 24/7.  Because I'm either eating sludge, planning to eat sludge, getting ready to eat sludge, or dreaming about what I'm going to eat 'next'.

And while I'm doing all this, I HATE MYSELF. 

I hate the fact that I have 'no self control'. I hate that binge mentality. The whole "I know I'm not hungry but I have to keep eating anyway" business.
God knows what kicks it off sometimes....it's hard to analyze it (but not impossible, as I'm learning through my reading!)....but once a binge starts, it's next to impossible to stop it. At least until the next morning. And it used to be, my binges lasted all weekend....or even all week! 

In fact, I basically binge-ate through my 40s. With a few half-hearted attempts at diets in between. But the commitment just was NOT there. I hadn't suffered enough, I guess. I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Having been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and being unable to work anymore, I fell into a depression and regardless of the depression meds I 'gave up' on life. FOOD was my only solace, my constant companion and only friend. And my family and DH looked on in horror as I ate myself into oblivion. (and drank, too....oh, did I love my strawberry margaritas!  Then it progressed to vodka and orange juice, and pretty soon the vodka was a whole lot MORE than the orange juice, until I hit rock bottom, throwing up all over my bedroom, with my DH standing over me going, "When is enough going to be ENOUGH, Linda?"

I finally woke up in terms of my alcohol addiction at that point.....but it took a more more years of suffering before I finally got serious about my weight.

Having found the Take Shape for Life Program using Medifast meals, I felt like I was experiencing a REBIRTH. The program was truly a miracle to me; since I had been unable to lose weight on my own for so long.  I thought I knew all there was to know about nutrition....HA!  I knew NOTHING.  Eating tons of strawberries with a little greek yogurt was NOT the right nutritional balance for me to lose weight (too much fructose in the fruit!)  I needed to get very, very strict .... and the 5/1 program in TSFL fit the bill perfectly.

But the KEY, for me, to get to goal was as simple as, screwing UP enough times that I HATED myself, versus staying OP enough times to feel PROUD of myself....and deciding that I wanted to feel PRIDE and feel GOOD every night when I went to bed, instead of feeling lousy and like I'd 'failed' AGAIN.

It really is as simple as that for me now. I cherish the feeling of pride and accomplishment I get when I follow my food plan religiously.  And I remember, all too well, the horrible, hopeless, depressed feeling I had those times when I gave into Fat Brain's stupid arguments (like 'One won't hurt') and binged.

Plus a binge is like a locomotive.  Once it starts it's hard to stop it! 

Much, much easier NOT TO START in the first place!

Just not taking that first bite was KEY.  Still is key. Will ALWAYS be key for me. That first bite is what does it.

Time after time Fat Brain urges me to have 'just a little more' or 'just one more MF snack' or whatever. But I know that one WILL hurt. I know it will immediately result in the second half of that argument, which is 'You blew it now, might as well eat what you want the rest of the day and restart tomorrow'. 

Which is total CRAP, yet I fall for it over and over and over again.

So.....my only recourse is NOT to take that first bite. PERIOD.

When I do that, I stay OP. 

And when I stay OP, I'm happy.  I'm taking care of my body, I'm eating right, and I'm happy.

And regardless of what happens in my life I know I can control what I eat. And I don't have to react to events by stuffing my face....I have other tools at my disposal to handle my emotions, to deal with stress, etc.

FOOD is not the answer.  It never was the answer!

So staying OP can be as simple as 'How do you want to FEEL?'....!!!

Think about it. REMEMBER your binges in terms of how you felt emotionally afterwards. Was it worth it?

Hell NO, right?

Versus how you felt when you stayed OP -- particularly in a tough situation. Didn't it feel AWESOME? 

You bet it did!

So choose that feeling again today.  Choose to feel GREAT inside.
Stay OP and on course. Do whatever you have to do to do that, put yourself first, just say 'no' to food pushers, plan your meals, whatever it takes.

And tonight when you go to bed you'll have a SMILE on your face.