Expectations

We all have expectations when we come here, don't we? We want and expect to lose the weight. Hopefully we want and expect that we'll change our lifestyle and our eating habits permanently, so as to take better care of ourselves and NOT regain the weight,

But what about our PERSONAL expectations? 

I mean, in terms of our performance OP....and the scale.

Are you expecting too much from the scale?

Do you expect that every week when you get on that scale you'll lose 2 lbs, and if you don't lose at LEAST 2 lbs. you've 'failed'? 

DON'T! 

Weight loss is not a straight line....and we don't lose according to a timetable in our heads. Our bodies will shed the weight when they are READY to shed the weight. And there are so many variables at play with the scale...water retention, that TOM, hormones, lack of sleep, STRESS, you name it....that playing 'the scale game' is an exercise in FUTILITY.

And what about YOURSELF? Are you expecting too much from yourself?

10 Ways to Spoil Yourself...and Still Get to GOAL!

With Memorial Day weekend here, I thought I'd share one of my 'secrets' to getting to goal....and it's very simple! It's called SPOILING MYSELF!  LOL!

Seriously, it's all in how you look at it....and approach it.
Someone remarked on my binge thread about loving to eat....and I agree wholeheartedly!  I love to eat, too! But how do you reconcile that LOVE of just chewing, swallowing, the whole process, and LIKING what you eat, with staying OP?

How can you live on 1000 calories or less and LOVE it?

Well, I found ways....and I believe these were KEY for me to reaching goal. And I wish I could bottle that feeling of 'spoiling myself OP' and give it to each and every one of you, because if I could we'd all be at goal and be happy, right? 

Recommended Reading

I'm a voracious reader. Always have been, always will be. So when I realized that my compulsive overeating had a 'head' component (which of course it does, it's not just the food we eat, it's WHY we eat it!) I started looking for resources from experts on things like emotional eating, binge eating, etc.

There definitely are two facets to my food addiction that needed addressing (and will continue to need addressing):

- The PHYSICAL Side -- i.e., WHAT I eat, which foods are triggers, which foods are too high in carbs/sugars/etc....versus which foods help me nutritionally AND don't lead to hunger spikes or cravings.  This is where this program comes into play. The Medifast meals are perfectly formulated to address these issues.  It's an ever-evolving, constant balancing act, however...because after Transition you need to figure out which foods are triggers for you (and it's as individual as you are). And to make matters worse, triggers CHANGE over time...so you have to be aware of what foods are dangerous for you and constantly adjust your eating plan accordingly.
AND- The MENTAL/EMOTIONAL Side -- i.e., WHY I eat, what drives me to want to overeat emotionally. It can often 'feel' like I'm physically hungry, but in actuality I'm NOT....it's a false sense of hunger that has nothing to do with being 'empty' physically but EVERYTHING to do with looking for a release or a relief from stress, anger, anxiety, frustration, depression, you name it!
Dealing with my emotional eating is an ongoing battle as well....but this is where a lot of the books on the following list come into play. They address this side of the equation, the 'whys' and 'where did that come from?' aspect of my overeating and how to overcome them and become more regulated (I won't say 'normal' because what IS normal? LOL) in my eating.
So these are the books I found most helpful. This is a pretty long list, but it represents about 10 years of studying/reading/working on my weight.  It's only been in the last 2-3 years that I've made progress on the outside, because on February 22, 2012 I started this program and finally got the PHYSICAL side, (i.e., the DIET portion) 'right'.
Putting it all together is important;  but that didn't happen until I came here!

I will never be 'done'....I don't think you ever ARE 'done' when it comes to having a food addiction, but I've come a long, long way and hopefully my experience can help you.

Living to Eat...or Eating to LIVE?

Late in 2012/early 2013, when my struggle to stay OP reached epic proportions, one of the things that pulled me through, believe it or not, was a simple organization system for my MF meals.  It removed the 'choice' factor from my meals which was important, because I was questioning everything....far too often.  
 

I was getting bored, getting 'tired' of staying OP, feeling deprived, you name it. Fat Brain was having a field day with my head!

PLUS it made things so much EASIER. No more guesswork, no more games, no more decisions. I would get up in the morning and simply grab that day's 'slot' worth of MF meals and bring them into the kitchen and set them on the counter and tell myself "THIS is what I'm going to eat today and ALL I'm going to eat today (plus my L&G which was pre-planned as well via my Weekly Menu on my refrigerator)."

And it WORKED. It got me back OP at the time and got me my "mojo" back and I made it to goal.

Well, guess what? I'm going back to that organization system again.  Because even though I'm in maintenance, I'm finding that I'm now at the point where I need to tackle my GREATEST challenge. And that is, changing my THINKING....from a 'living to eat' mentality to one where I 'eat to LIVE'. So this organizational system, in addition to helping keep me OP, keeps me focused on what’s important…and that is NOT my MF meals but my LIFE.

SAVE THIS BLOG....!

The title is a reminder to me…to print and SAVE this blog where I can reread it often.

This blog has taken me 3 days to write...and about 2 years to live (LOL).

Most of my blogs come easy....they are almost like streams of consciousness, they just sort of 'flow' out of me. In fact, it's almost like I can't get the words down fast enough. I don't think about them....they've already been processed in my head, so all I'm doing is getting them DOWN, in writing.

NOT SO with this blog, though.

And this is an important blog...to me, anyway.

Because THIS blog is all about what happens during an eating binge.
This blog details the HARD TRUTH about binges...for me, anyway....what causes them, what happens when I have one (step-by-step), and strategies to STOP them in their tracks.

The BEST way to stop a binge, of course,  is NEVER TO START.
NOT take that FIRST off plan bite.

And if I'm standing in the middle of the kitchen 'debating' whether or not to eat that 'first' little extra, I think what's KEY is, to REMEMBER how AWFUL a binge can be.

Stolen Moments of Time...

I have been struggling on maintenance but am back in the groove...on the 5/1 for awhile again to get myself back in hand....(it's necessary once in awhile).

While discussing this the other day with my Coach, she shared that we are all human BEINGS, not human "DOINGS".Oh boy, did that hit home! 

I've always been a busy person. To me, a day when I got 'nothing' done was a "wasted"  day. I put incredible demands upon myself sometimes. Not only do I have to be the world's greatest wife, and daughter, and grandmother, and "Mom" to our pets and friend to my friends and fellow exerciser with my friends at the gym and good neighbor and now, a good Coach myself....BUT....I also have to 'get things done' everyday. LOTS of things done.

I'm a big list maker. I tend to make these long lists of things to do. (Seriously, I can spend 1/2 hour doing nothing but LISTING all the things I want to get done 'today').

Yeah, right. Like I have TIME to do all the things on my list!

NO ONE could get it all done. Yet I continue to make lists, and somewhere deep down when I don't complete everything, something inside me is saying I didn't 'measure up'.
I wasn't 'good enough'.

ENOUGH already! 

If I've learned ANYTHING here....and I've learned a lot...! I would say the #1 thing that I've learned via going through this program is to stop PUNISHING MYSELF and start LOVING MYSELF instead.

Isn't that weird?  I mean, I came here to lose the weight. I never in a million years thought I would wind up changing INSIDE.
And yet it has happened. In more ways than I can count!

So now it's time to learn to SLOW DOWN and STOP putting unreasonable demands upon myself.

I'm going to try just BEING.

Not DOING anything. Just sitting in my chair and BEing.

And I know it's not going to be easy. Right now I want to do it, but FIRST I have to finish this blog (LOL).  And then I have a personal training session at 9.

So maybe I'll allow 5 minutes for me to just SIT. But hey, even that small amount of time .... if I can actually DO it, I mean do NOTHING for 5 minutes....will be a victory.

WHY IS IT we put so many demands on ourselves? I mean, seriously.

We 'have' to do so many things, be so many things, all of us!  WHY?

NO ONE is pushing us ... except OURSELVES. Our families have come to depend upon us to "do it all";  but what if we say NO once in awhile? What if we let THEM fend for themselves if they are old enough? I don't know about you, but my DH has NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER just 'being'. He can sit in his chair and do NOTHING. It doesn't bother him in the least.

But not me!  Oh No, Ms. PERFECTION has to do it all.

You know something? Whenever I go anywhere I HAVE to be on time. HAVE to. I get FURIOUS with myself if I'm not on time. To me it's PARAMOUNT.  It's like a SIN to be late to anything.

Not so with DH....he'll get there when he gets there. LOL.

UGH.  And the worst part about all this 'DOING' versus 'BEING' is, I think it is partially one of the reasons why I am subject to eating binges. Because that quick bite of 'whatever' is like a STOLEN MOMENT OF TIME for me. It's "JUST FOR ME" time.

Isn't that SAD?

My only 'ME' time is when I'm shoving something I shouldn't be eating into my mouth?
For like, 2 seconds? (and then HATING myself afterwards....and/or having it lead to a full-on BINGE).  WHY?  How nuts is this?

Nope...I'm beginning to see that the unreasonable pressures and demands I place upon myself every single day have led (partially, anyway) to my compulsive overeating and food addiction. Because FOOD was my 'respite'. My 'me' time. Seriously.

Think about it.  For me, a binge...at least the start of a binge, especially when I'm alone...is 'party time' for me. It's JUST FOR ME time.  Line up all the goodies, turn the phone off, draw the shades, LEAVE ME ALONE this is JUST FOR ME. Let the relaxation begin.

But why can't I do that WITHOUT the food? Who says that it's got to include tons of poisonous SLUDGE for my body? Why can't I just take ME time with a big glass of water or a cup of tea? Or NOTHING for that matter? Why can't I just "BE and BREATHE"?

Today, I'm going to try to do just that. In segments....little by little...and experiment with it.

Learning to just BE me. That's all.

Not accomplish something, not DO anything (not even read)...just SIT. 

Wish me luck....I'm going to need it. Because I have a feeling this will be a very uncomfortable feeling for me..at first. But hopefully I'll get better at it.

WE are all human BEINGS. Not human DOINGS.

Something to think about on this Friday morning! Take time for YOU. WITHOUT the food crutch. Take deep breaths, look around you, and just appreciate being ALIVE and on this beautiful planet we call EARTH. Let the lists of thing to do GO for once. They will still be there tomorrow.

Today, TAKE TIME FOR YOU.

You DESERVE IT.

Keep on keepin on,

ASK for help!

I know many of you think I've 'got this'. Right?
I mean, I'm in maintenance. I made goal in July 2013 and I can quote chapter and verse of the program...what to eat, why, when, etc. And I'm a Coach, for pete's sakes.

But I have to tell you.....NO I do NOT know everything...
and ..the lessons NEVER end.

They really don't.

Once you reach Maintenance, you realize, more than ever, that our biggest enemies:
- are NOT 'sludge' foods,
- are not holidays
- are not parties
- are not weekends
- are not being bored or unhappy or depressed or stressed or any number of a bunch of unwelcome emotions
- are not food pushers or well-meaning (and sometimes NOT so well meaning) friends and family members
- are not the meals we don't like or the calculations you have to do or the time it takes to plan and prepare and log your meals
- is not even the scale!

No, the biggest enemy?  Is OURSELVES. It's what goes on in our HEADS.
What we TELL ourselves. (or DON'T tell ourselves). What we BELIEVE about ourselves. (or don't believe). Our confidence level.  Our 'shame' and/or 'guilt' (BOTH are totally wasted, USELESS emotions in my opinion). 

Treats

Someone asked me the other day about treats...she wondered how I am with them, now that I'm on maintenance.

Do I eat them occasionally....if so, do I plan for them, do I work out harder than day?, etc.

Well, I wish I could tell you guys that when you get to maintenance you can eat treats...that you can 'schedule' them or plan for them or exercise more those days or whatever...

But you know what? I'd be lying.

from zero to TOP SPEED!

Yesterday I did NOTHING, today my calendar was fullfullfull.

That's the way it goes sometimes. I don't have a nine-to-five job, so my work is at my OWN schedule. That said, there are many things that are beyond my control, time-wise.....like the exercise class this morning AND the doctor's appointment I had this afternoon.

It required that I eat my MF mid-morning snack in the car on the way to the gym (because for the next 2 hours from 9-11:30 approximately, I was in two back-to-back exercise classes) and then I came home, fed the cats, and got dressed and drove 1 hour one way to my FMS specialist at 1:30. Consequently I had to eat lunch in the car and since I didn't get home till 4:30...that necessitated another MF meal - my late afternoon snack - again eaten in the car.

But it CAN.BE.DONE. 

My hardest times are often when I'm ALONE!

I got through a very tough day today.

Because I was ALONE all day. And I didn't go to the gym. (I'm taking a bit of a breather this week....because frankly I've been overdoing it!  I think I pulled a muscle in my right knee during Spinning on Monday so I took yesterday and today 'off'. Tomorrow I'll do Body Pump and Flow as usual for a Thursday, though, as I feel much much better.)

Not having ANY activities 'scheduled'....well, that's always been a recipe for disaster for me.

Left to my own devices, Fat Brain gets LOUD. Very loud. She tells me 'No one will know...what difference does it make? You can lose it quick....you just will go back on the 5/1 and it'll come right off!'  etc.

All the usual excuses come fast and furious. 'One won't hurt....just one extra thing...have an apple, they're HEALTHY!' or 'Have a MF snack bag...it's only 70 calories', etc.