The Great PB2 Debacle

Last night I had a problem. One of those quiet desperation-type problems we sometimes have as food addicts. We fight these battles, all alone, in the recesses of our minds...and hopefully we come out of them a little bit stronger, a little bit more confident in our ability to sustain the GOOD eating habits we're developing...and maybe get rid of a bad habit or two.

I have to say, if you've been following my blogs you know my life has recently taken a turn for the better, professionally speaking. And change - even good change, can sometimes be stressful. I've also been busier than ever. AND I had this 'thing' starting to go on in my head, where I told myself I couldn't be anything but 'perfect' now, because I've got to be a role model, right?
....and if I wasn't, I sure couldn't TELL anyone about it. Not here. Not anymore.

Well, you know what? That's SO 'not me'!!!!

And I sure as heck can't PRETEND to be something I'm not, either.

So I'm going to blog about the problem I had last night. In the hopes that it can help someone ELSE see something that maybe they haven't been admitting to themselves. And to heal MYSELF as well.

Isn't that what this website is all about?

Firstly, a little background. I'm a BIG big peanut butter fan. Always have been. I think it's an emotional thing....Skippy was a HUGE part of my childhood, my mother used to buy the 'industrial size' of the stuff since there were 5 of us kids and PB&J sandwiches were a staple growing up. I don't blame her....it was relatively cheap, and she had a large family to feed. But somehow, unlike my siblings, that jar of Skippy became MORE important to me than just 'food'.

It became COMFORT. It become COMPANIONSHIP. It became associated with all the warmth and love of HOME and my family.

So over the years .... I used it whenever I was down or depressed or stressed or frustrated or.... (you get the idea LOL).

It was the.hardest.food for me to give up when I started this program, but it also was the most IMPORTANT thing for me to give up because it's only the most fattening food on the PLANET, right?
I mean, 'normal' people can eat 1 TBL of the stuff and be 'fine', it's extra protein (never mind the added sodium and sugar and fats...let's not even GO there).

But me? 1 TBL never did it. NO WAY. I could stick a spoon in the jar and literally eat the ENTIRE JAR. Depending on my mood and how long the crackers and strawberry jam as accompaniments held out.

So needless to say, it packed on the pounds. And it was amazing to me how quickly I could go from being totally in control to having that spoon in the jar again...real quick...within SECONDS....and how lightning fast my eating plan could get RUINED. And of course 30 seconds later I'd be chastising myself and thinking 'Oh well, I ruined the day again....MIGHT AS WELL EAT WHAT I WANT and START OVER TOMORROW" (oh those famous last words...!!!!!!)

So I had to find ways to DEAL with my emotions without that 'crutch'.

It wasn't easy, but I did it. I made the food totally OFF LIMITS for me. I even begged my DH at one point to keep it in his pickup or something...(because he loves it, too, albiet like a 'normal' eater) ... but he wouldn't. So I compromised; I put it in a drawer (along with his crackers and pretzels) that I NEVER went into.  Period.

TOTAL ABSTINENCE is what has to be done with these kinds of foods. We know they will get us into trouble, 'sooner or later'.
And I knew this would always be the case with Skippy. I even decided that should I get to goal, I STILL would never go back to it, ever again.

And I found a substitute, which was even better.  One that was...wonder of wonders...OP!

I discovered the wonders of PB2.

Oh, GLORIOUS DAY the day I saw a reference to it and asked about it....and then found a place to buy it!

Oh, even MORE GLORIOUS DAY when it arrived and I tried it...just 2 TBLs of the dry powder, mixed with 1 TBL cold water = your daily Snack (one per day) .....and it was as close as I could possibly DREAM to my beloved Skippy!

Oh, what a happy camper I was after that. I was able to sail along and stay OP because every night, I knew I could look forward to that PB2....on my MF brownie. OMG.  I close my eyes and the world goes away. I revel in it. I know this is 'all' I'm going to get, so I cherish every morsel of it. WOE BE IT on the person who interrupts me or does anything to take my PB2 away!  LOL.....

I was so excited about it that at one point, I even DEMANDED that DH try it. (after all, it IS better for you than Skippy....I mean a LOT of the fat has been removed! And we're talking less than HALF the calories! What could be better?) He's got some weight to lose (a continual battle since he will NOT try the MF meals....sigh)...

He tried it and said, 'It's allright...but I couldn't be bothered mixing it up. No thanks, dear, I'll stick with the jarred stuff.'

DARN, for a second there I thought I had a convert LOL....

I've sung the praises of PB2 here to newbies. (especially peanut butter lovers).

And frankly, it HELPED me! It helped me stay OP....because there literally were times when I was ABLE to stay OP all day long, because I promised myself that I could ONLY have that PB2 on my brownie 'unless' I had been 100% OP all day long.

BUT....then I reached goal.
And I discovered something ELSE.

I discovered PB2 with chocolate. And THIS was a different animal. I mean, OH. MY. GOD.

It was ....frankly....TOO good. It came in at the same number of calories, too...BUT...it had more carbs so it really couldn't be counted as a snack. So I used it only when I had extra calories to 'spend' (which I had mistakenly thought I had at that point; I've already discussed how my TEE was set too high and I had to learn that the 'hard way', through a slow 'weight creep'...)

Well, of course you can imagine what happened. And I must say, for quite awhile I was able to handle it. Only 2 TBLs of the stuff. Counted as 100 of my 'extra' calories.

But then, of course...little by little...2 TBLs became 4 TBLs. And I held at 4 TBLs for quite awhile.

EVEN AFTER I discovered my TEE was set too high and I had to go back to the 5/1 briefly to get my weight back down.

I rationalized it. I told myself I could control it.

But I began to plan for it....TOO OFTEN (with the PB2, I've managed to keep it to 2 TBLs and ONLY 2 TBLs....and I've even been able to, on some days, 'forego' the PB2 in favor of MF chips or another allowable MF snack).  After all, 1 snack is 1 snack. NOT 2.

Don't ask me why I can control PB2 but not PB2 with chocolate  because I honestly DON'T KNOW. Maybe it's the carbs? Sugar in it?

All I know is, PB2 with chocolate? Became a problem.
But plain PB2 was not.

But I denied I had a problem with the chocolate one. To myself and everyone else.

Until I had a conversation via email with a fellow MF community member who told me about a weight gain she had had after attaining goal. She was someone I'd never thought that could happen to; and yet it did. She was struggling to get that weight off and get back OP and I really felt for her....because God knows it's not easy to go back to the 5/1 after you get used to eating more food on maintenance!

I also felt for her because, well, isn't that everyone's worst nightmare? That we 'get' there, only to regain...? 

She was lucky....she caught it in time (I really believe that...and I think she's strong enough to get it back off!) ... but she made me think. How easily it could happen.

All you had to do was get a little lackadasical....'justify' things to yourself that weren't OP....rationalize....

and suddenly it HIT ME.  (it was now around the time I normally have my evening snack).  I was already planning to have 'at least' 1/3 cup...that's 5-1/3 TBLS of the stuff by this point, guys!...I was now past the 4 TBLs....

And I KNEW. I knew I had a problem with PB2 with chocolate. I knew I had been LYING to myself for months about it.

And I knew it had to go.

So I had two choices.

1. Try to cope with it and tell myself "I'll just back it down to 2 TBLs, it'll be fine, it's the same amount of calories as PB2 and I'll count it as my snack"....(although in my heart of hearts I knew this would only lead to my eating too much of it, only a matter of time....)....OR

2. I could GET RID OF IT COMPLETELY. 

So I did what I did with diet soda over a year ago.

I GOT RID OF IT. And I had just bought FOUR (4) jars of PB2 with chocolate...brand new jars that I LUSTED after, that I looked forward to.

But it HAD TO GO. It worked with the diet soda...(I poured it all down the drain, I had like, 5 half-gallons of the stuff by then 'squirreled away').... and I no longer drink it by the gallon anymore. Just once in awhile when I'm out to dinner or something. But that's it. It's not a problem anymore. I never buy it. EVER. It does NOT belong in this house anymore.

So it should work with the PB2 with chocolate.

It was now 10 pm at night...DH had gone to bed already. But I packed it all up into a garbage bag and I put my coat on and I PUT IT IN THE OUTSIDE garbage can in the 5 degree weather (because that way I wouldn't fish it out). I even put some used kitty litter on top of it for good measure! LOL.....

Hey, you gotta do what you gotta DO sometimes. Take a deep breath and just DO IT. Do the right thing, for your body, for your health, and for your SANITY.

Today I'm free of it. And breathing a huge sigh of relief. (Oh...I should also tell you I gave it a 'send off' before I said goodbye, which involved eating as much as I wanted of the stuff...I STUFFED myself with it to the point where my STOMACH hurt.  Talk about stupid, right?) 

But it's DONE. It's over and done and NOW I just associate that 'overful' stomach pain feeling with it...thank heavens. Maybe on some level that was helping to heal me and get me through it. I don't know.

Of course the next morning I had to fight the illogic in my head about how I had to 'make up for it' (the makeup game, another game we play with ourselves, wherein we feel we have to 'punish' ourselves and eat even LESS so we can somehow UNDO the damage we did with last night's binge)....but I got through that, knowing that was NOT a smart thing to do. Instead I just proceeded to stay OP, as usual.

Today I feel like I dodged a HUGE bullet. Because PB2 with chocolate was becoming a real problem for me.

I got 'hung up' thinking it WASN'T really a 'trigger food', because unlike my old Skippy days, it did NOT bring on the desire to stuff myself with MORE food.
Instead it was the 'end of my eating' for my day (which was illogical because I would stay OP all day long, only to overdo it with the PB2 with chocolate! I counted the calories and was still OK, but I was NOT truly adhering to the 5/1 ... I was 'making up my own program'.
NOT GOOD.)

So I don't know what to call it...but I think the fact that peanut butter is so strongly associated with my childhood has made it an emotional trigger for me somehow. And combined with chocolate, it created a powerful 'pull' for me....TOO powerful.

Hmm....a name for it. Let's see. A kidcomf? (comfort food from my childhood?)

Whatever it was, I'm glad I got it out of my house. And my life.

As for PB2, all I can do it keep an eye on it. If I start to suspect that it's becoming a problem (i.e., I can't keep it to only 2 TBLs anymore...) then OUT IT GOES.

And maybe...just maybe...I WILL sever myself from this problem food once and for all.

We are all WORKS IN PROGRESS. I defy ANYONE to tell me they are 'done', goal or no goal...if they are truly a food addict. The most we can hope for is REMISSION, is CONTROL, and MANAGEMENT of our condition. Like a chronic incurable condition (like my fibromyalgia or my DH's COPD), it requires management....lest it overwhelm your life.

But it CAN BE DONE.

Oh ...by the way...today I went out in 9 degree cold to Pilates class and I did all the moves, including the advanced ones. And I happily wore my super-skin-hugging leggings and a top that also is form-fitting. (under another whole layer of clothing that I peeled off when I got to the gym...)

And I LOVED what I saw in the mirror. It's not perfect...like me on the inside, not perfect...but most definitely much, much healthier.

My best advice? If YOU have a food that's become 'too important'...that you seem to be overdoing on, again and again, analyze whether or not you MAY have to cut the bounds of it completely. I know it's not easy and it's not fun....but for the sake of your health and your weight loss...you may have to if you want to get to goal and STAY at goal.

Keep on keepin' on!

Winter Doldrums

OK, so now we've officially entered the "I hate Winter" part of Winter...LOL....

We've gone from "WOW! It's snowing! Isn't it PRETTY?" around Christmastime, to: "Oh CRAP, It's snowing again."

What can you do? Winter still has us in its grip.

And that means...more days of freezing weather, more snow, and more days when we're stuck inside wondering what to DO with ourselves. Right?

Oh yeah. Been there, done that. This is the period of time when I'd always use food as my entertainment. My buddy, my friend, my companion. "What can I MAKE?"....not just for me but for my husband...what kind of comfort food, crockpot maybe casserole lasagna full of FAT food could I make for dinner?  Because after all, it was WINTER, right? We NEED comfort food. This is the time when we should be making casseroles and using the crockpot and making rich soups on the stove....

WAIT A MINUTE. I'm on the TSFL program. I don't NEED that artery-clogging JUNK in my body anymore. And guess what, neither does my "non-dieting" husband!

Matter of fact, as we speak, I have leftover "MF turkey taco meatballs" (couldn't be easier, 1 lb. ground turkey plus 1/2 to 1 envelope low-sodium taco seasoning mix, mix together, form meatballs, and bake at 350 for about 20 minutes....weigh out 3.0 to 3.5 ozs cooked (depending on the fat content of the turkey...I sometimes use 99%, sometimes 93%) and that's 1/2 lean (I split my lean between lunch and dinner...obviously you'll have 6 to 7 ozs. if you're doing a full lean).

Plus my mashed cauli, as usual...and my salad. GOTTA have my salad.

My salad has become like my 'dessert'....don't laugh it's true...I look forward to it and eat it 'last' because I love my salad dressing so much. It's MF-approved, of course (consult your condiments list...the approved salad dressings are on the back page, lots of great choices...the Newmann's Own brand are good, as are the Ranch dressings...) and I put it on with a plastic tablespoon I set out next to my silverware every night.  YEP, I do!

My lifestyle and my eating habits have changed PERMANENTLY.

And that is SO COOL! 

My head is in a different place.

I don't automatically think of junk anymore. Instead I'm thinking 'Hmmm...it's been 3 hours...need to start thinking about my next MF meal...what do I feel like?' and I go from there.

DH laughs at me because I do happy dances. A LOT.

My happy dance is a weird combination of off-kilter karate and some sort of jig I made up. LMAO....I was doing it this morning after getting on the scale and seeing it went DOWN 2 lbs. YAY!

Honest to God. Poor DH was trying to PEE and I'm standing there in the bathroom going 'I lost 2 lbs!' and doing a jig. He just smiled and shook his head....LOL

NOTHING makes me happier than having to change my ticker!

So I'm now at 160.8....which basically is back at my original 'goal' weight attained in July (and kept off within a few lbs either way)...but now I'm headed for my new, revised goal weight of 157. So I've got 3.8 lbs to go.

Can I do it?  I KNOW I can.

I am GOING to do it.

AHA!  That's the key for all of us.

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?

HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU?

I'm serious.

If you just say 'It would be nice..... if I lost some weight' (like my mother keeps saying)....you aren't committed and you won't do it. No way.

And if you say 'I NEED to lose....X # of pounds' then you're kind of 'yelling' at yourself before you even start! And is that a nice thing to do? Of course it isn't! Your 'inner child' will REBEL at that and I submit that you will NOT be successful.

If you say 'I WANT to lose...X # of pounds'....OK, you're getting closer...but this still doesn't imply 'total committment'. Sooner or later that 'want' will get challenged by your inner cravings that tell you that THEY 'want' you to eat this instead...'just for now', and you will CAVE.

But if you say 'I AM GOING to lose X # of pounds', NOW you're getting there! You have RESOLVED that this is going to happen.
You will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get there.

So how BAD do you want it? Do you want it badly enough that you'll say NO to your cravings and urges NO MATTER WHAT is happening in your life?

I read somewhere that they surveyed like, 1,000 women and asked them, 'If you could become SLIM for the rest of your life, guaranteed, and never had to diet again....but you had to cut off your pinkie toe to do it, would you?"

Guess how many said "YES"? 

I can see your heading nodding. YOU BETCHA!  A majority!

I would do it. In a heartbeat.

And...isn't that....SAD, when you think about it?
I mean, we are willing to MUTILIATE our own bodies just to get skinny!

So when you think about it....if you're willing to do THAT to yourself, I mean walk around with one less TOE for the rest of your life, basically DEFORM yourself....then....why is this program so tough for you? After all, you SAID you're willing to do 'anything', right?

So all you need to do is remember that. And say "NO" to those food cravings whenever they occur, no matter how many times they occur throughout the day.

And let's face it....depending on the day we ALL have 1->many  cravings to overeat. I sure do. And weekends....especially wintry weekends like this one...are worse. Because we're not as busy. We have more leisure time on our hands, we're not running around going to work or school or taking the kids wherever they need to go or running errands or making phone calls or....the thousand different things we all have to do during a typical weekday.

Weekends the pace is slower. Especially on Sundays. Even UPS doesn't deliver on Sunday (she said mournfully....as I'm expecting my latest MF meal order 'as we speak'....).  Everyone's 'off' and they are sitting around doing whatever they FEEL like doing.

And I don't know about you, but what I always, always FELT like doing was....stuffing my face. Usually in front of the TV but a good book would work, too. As long as I was stuffing my face.

UGH. Thank GOD thank GOD thank GOD those days are over.

At least...I HOPE they are. There always is a little kernel of doubt....that wonders 'Is this REAL?'....and that has to 'pinch' myself to remember that YES I DID finally lose the weight and YES I CAN keep it off...forever.

But it's not 'easy'. It'll never be easy. Not for me. I know that. I STILL have my bad days. I STILL have times when I want to chuck it all and just sink into a huge vat of....'whatever' sludge I can get my hands on....and not think about...anything.

Enter the 'food trance'. That's what it felt like to me.

But now I enter an ACTUAL meditative trance when life really  stresses me out. I put my headphones on and a very soothing relaxation/meditation CD and I lie down and sometimes I even nap for a few minutes while I 'de-stress' and it feels wonderful.

And is a whole lot better for me than stuffing my face.

Or I'll head to the bathroom, shut the door, light my scented candles and announce I am NOT to be disturbed....and take a long luxurious bubble bath. Just me and the hot water and the beautiful scents surrounding me. Ahhh.......

Not to mention it reinforces my PRIDE in my own body. WOW, look at that, muscles in my legs that are nice and lean. WOW, my stomach IS getting flatter. etc.

HANG IN THERE today, gang. Remember, it's just another day. Tomorrow will come and you will have to deal with whatever you did today...or ate today. Right?  So if you stay OP you can feel GREAT about yourself. Or...you can get up tomorrow morning and think 'Well, I blew it again. Gotta restart today'. That's not a nice way to start a Monday morning (believe me, I've DONE it).

Keep on keepin' on!!!

BELIEVE in Yourself!

So many of us come into this program as 'skeptics'. We've landed here, how or when doesn't really matter, but we GOT here, and we've decided to "TRY" this program...but we're not convinced, not really in our heart of hearts, that it can actually, truly, WORK.

If you're just starting, or even if you've been here for awhile and are struggling -- say you're in a plateau or you are fighting with those last 20 lbs (which are notoriously the slowest to come off, by the way) -- it's easy to 'lose hope' and think "Well, maybe it worked for HER, but it's not going to for me. I'll be a MF 'failure'. I CAN'T do this.".

Please, please, I beg you....STOP that negative self-talk!

If you had a friend, a really good friend, who called you and started talking about herself this way, what would you do?

You'd tell her to CUT IT OUT, wouldn't you? You'd tell her of COURSE she can do it, she's stronger than she realizes, and YES she IS worth it, YES she CHANGE change, etc.

Wouldn't you?

Of COURSE YOU WOULD! Because you love your friend, and you don't want to hear her 'put herself down' like that.

EVERYONE needs a friend like that...and some of us are lucky enough to have them. (some of us are even lucky enough to call them 'Coaches'!)

My point is you wouldn't tolerate a friend getting 'down' on herself like that.

SO WHY ARE YOU DOING IT TO YOURSELF?

Why are you putting yourself down like that? Why are you being so negative? Why not have a little FAITH in yourself?

"You can do ANYTHING if you put your mind to it."
That's true....(I always remember this as my fav line from "Back to the Future"....one of my fav movies, not necessarily because of the car or the time travel, but because of the lasting FRIENDSHIP between Marty and the 'Doc'!)

When the chips were down they encouraged each other.

We do that for each other here....but I think it's just as important that you DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
After all, YOU are the one having to live with yourself...and all your thoughts, and your 'Fat Brain' or negative voices inside...so it's UP TO YOU to fight that negativity and BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

That's why it's so important to cherish, relish, and yes, even BRAG about those NSVs (non-scale victories) as well as scale victories here! Because acknowledging them, in writing, makes them more 'real' and gives them more importance in your brain, and that's training your brain, that's rewarding it for the kinds of behavior you want!

Conversely....the more you stress and berate yourself over your 'failures', over your slip-ups, the worse you feel, the more Fat Brain starts talking louder and louder until....you just figure 'Oh what the heck, I'm not going to succeed anyway...I might as well EAT' and then you're going down into the food pit again.

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. When everyone else is questioning what you're doing (and you WILL hear krazy stuff out there....because there are a lot of 'wrong ideas' about Medifast, unfortunately...people who think it's 'just shakes' or that you are truly 'fasting' - i.e., starving -- or people who think it's a great way to lose but you 'gain it all back' (ask our maintainers, they will vehemently DISAGREE)....), just SMILE and NOD and KEEP ON DOING THE PROGRAM.

Don't let ANYONE stop you if this is what you want.

Least of all....YOURSELF!

If you fail, get right back up again. Not the next day. The NEXT MEAL. (Yes I'm serious and YES I've done this!)

And don't be afraid to admit it...because we really do learn from our mistakes....I've said it over and over and I'll keep saying it...if you can get past your ANGER and GUILT and ANALYZE 'why' you slipped....well, then you can learn some valuable lessons to prevent it happening again!  And that's a VICTORY because it's one less 'pothole' you have to worry about, you know how to handle that situation now.

And every situation is different...it's amazing to me (still!) how I'm still learning that there are times when my 'automatic response' is ... to eat! And I have to stop myself and go 'What is THIS about?' and I LEARN from it.

Sometimes I fail! I'm not perfect! NONE OF US is. But I keep trying, I hang in there, I keep on keepin' on no matter WHAT, and consequently those 'naysayers' who swore that this program wouldn't work for me? Suddenly they have 'selective memory'....they are saying things like 'I always KNEW you could do it.'  (yeah, RIGHT LOL) bragging to their friends/neighbors/etc. that "Linda lost over 70 lbs, isn't that right?" (and then I'm supposed to turn in a slow circle and smile and talk about my weight loss...my Mother is FAMOUS for this LOL....)

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. When all else fails. When you're down to your last MF meal of SOUP or (God forbid), EGGS and you don't know where you'll find the money for your next order.  Pray on it and you'll get the answer. Post about it, maybe someone can offer a suggestion you didn't think of before.

When your hand is (literally) in the cookie jar. (which you should've gotten RID of those cookies Week ONE! LOL). 

When you get on the scale and it goes...(gasp)...UP! 
Or even worse...stays the same for like, the THIRD week in a row (sometimes that's even WORSE....but guess what? When you get to maintenance this feels GREAT LOL)...

When you are looking forward to your little MF meal and thinking "I'm starving". (no you're not....you're probably dehydrated...how's your water consumption today?)

LOL....there's always an answer...a POSITIVE answer...IF....

You believe in yourself.

YOU CAN DO THIS. I know it seems the road is impossibly long and that you'll 'never' get there. I felt that way, too. But you know what? If you just put your head down and DO it, ONE MEAL AT A TIME (and by the way don't get all fixated on the scale for pete's sakes...it's just ONE tool, ONE measurement, but that tape measure and HOW YOU FEEL and those jeans are even BETTER indicators....) then you WILL get there.

I stopped with the 'goals'.....I know Stop/Challenge/Choose has us making goals this week, SMART goals....it keeps us committed to the program overall, but to be honest I only had ONE GOAL.

And that was...to GET to goal! Oh, I could break it into increments ('my next goal is to get to onederland' etc.) but the truth was?
My weight loss 'goals' were REWARDS.

My GOAL was always simple. STAY OP. That's all.

Keep it simple for yourself, keep your head down and just DO IT. Don't overthink it, don't overstress about it, don't hop on and off the scale, don't compare your weight loss to your friends' weight losses.  Just WORK THE PROGRAM.

And the miracle can happen to YOU.

Keep on keepin' on and have a great OP day!

HOW TO TURN BAD HABITS INTO GOOD HABITS
This morning as I gaze out at the snowy landscape (it's 1.7 degrees outside, and we got 6 inches of snow yesterday...BRRRR....) I'm thinking about 'habits'...and how much my habits have changed since I started this program.

And I'm thinking about the process we all go through to change our BAD habits into GOOD habits!

That's what it's all about here, isn't it?  It's not just about losing the weight. If that was all it was, we could do a lot of other programs.(Although to be totally honest, most stopped working for me, but at 58 my metabolism was slow as molasses in January....LOL)

No. We're here to lose the weight but we're also mainly here to learn how to KEEP IT OFF.

Who wants to do this over and over again? UGH...no thank you!
Once is enough for Week 1, thank you very much.

So we are looking for PERMANENT changes here. And that means changing our lifestyle and our day-to-day habits.

When a bad habit hits you, it's easy to tell....because it's usually a voice in your head (one of your 'negative' passengers on the bus...you know, Doubting Donna, or Negative Nelly, or Polly Pessimistic)....who by the way is part of the 'Fat Brain' crowd.

She'll start by telling you that you 'need' to eat ________ (insert food here) because you're down, or you're having a hard day, or you're sick, or you're frustrated or anxious or angry or....any one of a million emotions.

We're all human, and therefore we all experience lots of different emotions over the course of a given day. I mean, Life goes on, right? ....and you can't "freeze" your life like pausing a movie while you're working the program! You have to live your life!
And obviously NO ONE has wonderful days every day.
Even the luckiest of us have bad days when everything goes wrong. Or something totally unexpected happens, and you have to adjust, quickly.

So let's say you had a bad day at work. You're overtired, you're all stressed out, and you finally fought the traffic and got home safely, but now you're standing in front of the refrigerator trying to decide what to have for dinner.

Here comes Fat Brain. "You DESERVE to just get a pizza tonight. After all, you had a HARD DAY! Who wants to COOK, for pete's sakes? That will take too long anyway. You're hungry and you need to eat. NOW. So you blow your program today. You can make up for it tomorrow. Right now you need to eat, and there's nothing ready so you might as well just go with it and do what's easiest. After all, you DESERVE it, (watch out for those 3 words!), your boss really came down hard on you today and it wasn't FAIR, and you work so hard and you get so little credit...blah blah blah..."

You get the idea. The message varies based on your particular situation but the meaning is always the same:  "I NEED TO GO OFF PLAN BECAUSE IT'S TOO HARD right now".

Of course you KNOW better...but it's very very tough to argue when you are standing there staring at the refrigerator and you're hungry and tired and frustrated and maybe a little depressed and stressed....

So what do you do?

Well, this is where you can really SHINE and TEACH YOURSELF a good habit.

See that lettuce? Grab it. And that MF approved salad dressing? That too...grab it. Have any string cheese? Perfect. If not what about eggs or eggbeaters? These can all be a lean in a pinch...consult the meatless options list.

You can throw together an eggbeaters omelet in 5 minutes FLAT. And fill the center with healthy greens like mushrooms or diced zucchini or green pepper. And serve it with a side lettuce salad and your favorite MF approved dressing.  VOILA!  Dinner in a flash!

BETTER YET...you can ANTICIPATE (AHA! You knew I'd say that) that these days will happen, and you can have leftovers ready to go....from a meal you made ahead of time, maybe you doubled a recipe over the weekend (always a good idea by the way) so all you have to do is grab it, plate it, and stick it in the microwave. PRESTO, there's your L&G.

Bottom line? You quickly SUBSTITUTE a GOOD habit from a BAD one.

Now here's the best part.

What happens if you repeat this behavior often enough?

You 'train' your brain to AUTOMATICALLY think of the 'good' habit instead of the bad one!

You keep doing this and eventually...you WILL have a day when you're in the same situation, tired, stressed, etc....but instead of even thinking take-out, you're thinking "What can I throw together quickly that's a healthy OP L&G?"

You see what just happened?

You didn't even THINK about your bad habit!

CONGRATULATIONS!
You just changed an eating habit...for GOOD!

Or...here's another example. You 'always' snack while watching TV at night with your DH. It's just something the two of you do. And you snack on...not so good for you food. Sludge. Chips. Sweets. Whatever.

The FIRST TIME you run into this situation....remember your final MF meal of the day....and make it something really good. Have a brownie (always a favorite) or a peanut butter smoothie (love these) or whatever your favorite MF meal is. Grab it INSTEAD of the sludge and grab a big glass of water and put that where you can reach it and sip sip sip away at your water, and eat your MF evening snack S-L-O-W-L-Y and mindfully (try not to stare at the TV when doing this, remind your brain that you're EATING...this avoids the 'where did it go?' syndrome where you look down at your empty plate and wonder where the food went).  I like to make a nice cup of herb tea to go along with this last evening MF meal, too....it kind of makes it more 'special'.

Now, the next time you're in this situation, do that same thing with your MF meal AGAIN.

And again. And again.....until.....you build up a HEALTHY HABIT, and now, whenever you think 'munchies' when you're watching TV, your brain will AUTOMATICALLY think of your favorite MF meal instead of those chips or that sludge you used to eat.

You are TRAINING YOUR BRAIN.

That's what it's all about. THAT is when the real change happens.

You will get to the point (I promise!) where the 'bad' habit becomes....unusual for you to even THINK about.

Not that it won't happen...it still will, once in awhile, but every time it does you need to analyze 'what was different?' or 'what was special' about this time that you couldn't resist?

Maybe you ran into a feeling you didn't anticipate...one you haven't had in awhile. Maybe you had something unusual happen in your day, something you haven't had happen so you never really handled 'how you would cope' with that problem before.

Those are just OPPORTUNITIES to start to build good habits from bad again for that particular situation!

Think of it that way. Every time you have a craving it's an OPPORTUNITY, it's not a bad thing! It's your chance to CHANGE the way your brain works.

And once you change your brain....your thought patterns...you can change your eating habits for GOOD, and then losing the weight and KEEPING it off become easy.

YOU CAN DO IT!

A Full Plate...and an Empty Heart

Two years ago I stared down at my huge plateful of food...and sighed.
I had a full plate...but an empty heart.

I married the love of my life, and he's wonderful, but something was still.... missing in my life.
I had no GOALS, no ambition. I felt like I just ‘took up space’. I was a intelligent, capable adult, but felt like my life had no meaning. My career as a Systems Manager with a large company was over, due to a fibromyalgia diagnosis. I couldn’t even walk up a flight of stairs without being in agony. And I missed working. I’d worked my way up having 20 people working under me. And I LOVED my job!

So I sat at home and stuffed myself and worried, and wondered…‘Who am I?’ ‘What did I want?’

I’d been battling my weight for so many years that frankly, I was sick and tired of it! I’d even had a few years where I TOTALLY ‘gave up’, and told anyone who’d listen that ‘diets don’t work for me’ and refused to go on another. (Of course all this did was give my ‘fat brain’ tacit approval to eat whatever she wanted, and therefore I got FATTER….)

I "used" food for other uses....other than nutrition. As a companion, a problem-solver, a stress-reliever, an anger-expresser/squelcher, a frustration-reliever, to ‘feel better’, to keep busy, ‘foodutainment’….you name it.

Food was my FRIEND, when no one else was. That jar of Skippy was always there. And I could always count on it to taste the same, to fill my stomach and make me feel 'less empty' inside.  I HATED myself every time I reached for that jar, but I didn’t know how to stop!

A little voice inside kept whispering that there was a REASON for all of this. I was convinced (still am!) that I was given this cross to bear...this food addiction, and then the fibromyalgia on TOP of it (which of course makes physical exercise more of a challenge)...for a reason.

I didn't know what that reason was, but I felt positive that it had something to do with my purpose in life.

Enter Medifast and the Take Shape for Life program.

This literally was my 'last try’ before gastric bypass surgery. 
I was THAT desperate.

I committed to doing the program for one full month. I would follow all the rules and just ‘see’. Of course I was ‘convinced’ that it wouldn’t work….why should it, nothing else did!...but I decided to give it a fair shake.

And I was flabbergasted when I lost weight – WEEK ONE, and … KEPT losing! 
ME! 
The woman who GAINED weight on Weight Watchers! (yep...!)

Me. The carb fiend. The sweets fanatic. The peanut butter lover.

I LOST weight. At age 58. With ‘metabolic syndrome’ (a doctor once told me I could ‘never’ lose weight.)

And a weird thing happened. Once I got into the routine of eating 6 small meals a day instead of literally eating ALL day, I had all kinds of time on my hands…and I started to really THINK about my eating.

I started to unravel the mysteries behind my food addiction.

And I have to be honest. When I first started, if someone had called me a ‘food addict’ I would’ve been highly INSULTED.

But I read other people’s blogs and comments on the TSFL community website, and I realized that there were others ‘like me’ in the world, for whom FOOD was…well…’everything’. And of course it shouldn’t be. Food is meant to be physical nutrition. It’s not meant to be a problem solver or a stress reliever or an anger-reducer or a friend or a comfort or any of the other myriad things I expected from it.

So I finally ‘accepted’ the fact that YES, I was definitely a food addict.

But that was OK….because I WAS NOT ALONE.

My experience on this community has been incredible. Here there are wonderful, kind, caring people, who assured me that I was not alone, and that it WAS possible to conquer my food addiction…because THEY had DONE IT.

I saw ‘winners’ in the losers. Veterans who had lost ALL the weight, changed their lives, and KEPT IT OFF.

As I interacted with others like myself, I came to realize that this was much, much more than a ‘diet’.
This could change my eating habits for GOOD.

That isn’t a small task. After all, I have fifty plus years of ‘conditioning’ to undo. Not to mention the fibro….which made exercise both ‘more’ important to do and ‘harder’ to do, at the same time.

But losing weight on this program helped me feel better physically. And like a snowball rolling down a hill, one thing led to another …first it was gentle exercise, then it was weight training, then more exercise, then a reduction in my painkillers, then my sleep improved, then I had more energy and was able to sign up at a gym, and so on. One good habit led to another and another. I kicked my lifelong diet soda habit. I found that I really enjoyed eating small, healthy meals and drinking lots of water, and that I didn’t have to STUFF myself to be happy.

To my amazement I reached GOAL weight in July of 2013!  I followed Transition for 12 weeks and have been maintaining ever since (with some minor fluctuations and adjustments to my goal weight).

My double-chin disappeared. I have MILES of space between me and the steering wheel in my car. I can cross my legs. I’ve cut way back on my pain meds.  I dropped from a size 24 to a size 12. I lost over 70 lbs! I attained a healthier BMI, stopped a progression into diabetes COLD, and became the vibrant, happy person I had once been so many years ago.

I’m also a confirmed ‘gym nut’ and work out several days a week!

But there’s MORE. I also discovered….I loved writing, and sharing my insights and revelations with others. In fact I couldn’t STOP writing! I got hooked on it. Looked forward to it. And to my delight I found that I was helping others at the same time I was clarifying my own insights when I did this.

And something inside me started jumping up and down with JOY. It was…my heart!

I FOUND MY HEART! I found my passion. I found my PURPOSE. I got such a THRILL out of it when someone said ‘You helped me today’ that it put me on a ‘high’ the rest of the day.

I got hooked on HELPING OTHERS while I helped myself.

And….I don’t want that to end. EVER.

So I’m pleased and proud to announce that I have become a Health Coach for Take Shape for Life.

It’s in my heart to help others as I was helped. I feel it right down to my CORE. I LOVE improving myself. I love the little ‘baby steps’ that lead up to BIG CHANGES on the scale and in the mirror and in the way I feel. And I want to do what I can to help others see the same benefits and changes in their lives that I have.

I will never look back again. I’m here to stay, loving my life and enjoying my friends, family, and even holidays while not overindulging on the junk food that used to rule my days and nights. Now I enjoy healthy foods and that is incredible to me. I’ll choose an apple for a treat. This from someone who never ate fruits and veggies….unless they were deep-fried or wrapped in sugar concoctions.

Every night I go to bed I thank GOD for this program, and every morning I wake up and smile because when I look in the mirror, I LOVE what I see. My husband and I are enjoying a ‘second honeymoon’ after 25 years of marriage because of the bounce in my step and the way I can fit into my jeans! 

I look forward to this next chapter in my life. I’d like to contribute in some small way to reverse the obesity epidemic in this country. This program is NECESSARY. I really feel that Coaches can save lives. And what higher calling is there?

If I can lose the weight, YOU can do it.

ANYONE can do it if they are motivated and committed. And have a little faith that this  just may be the ‘ticket’ to a slim, healthy body for you.

I thank my TSFL Health Coach who helped me on my journey. It was free to ask for one when I ordered my Medifast meals, and I'm so glad I did!

You are NOT alone. Remember that. Others have walked your path and they have succeeded….and if you’re willing to listen, and to try new things, you just might amaze yourself!

And if you need help, please, don't hesitate to contact me.  Or check out the TSFL program on your own! 

 

…’DREAMS DO COME TRUE!’

Love and HUGS!

Linda

Whoosh!

I am continually amazed by the lessons that my life continues to teach me....IF I'm open to them.

I decided to get on the scale this morning....(I know, I know, my weigh-in day isn't technically until Sunday, but I just couldn't wait. Besides, I 'felt' skinny. Ever have one of those days?)...and I could NOT believe my eyes.

I am down to 162.4.  That is 6.6 lbs DOWN in....(drumroll please)...3 days. 

I kid you not.  3 days OP.  I restarted the 5/1 on Saturday morning, and stayed OP Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. So here it is Tuesday morning, and I'm down 6.6 lbs.

My first week on Medifast, way back in February 2012 when I first joined, I lost 7.4 lbs the first week...but this is a new record for me!

Holy Hannah!  LOL

Seriously...I think what's happening is probably a conglomeration of things...water, I had been constipated, my body 'relaxing' a bit more since I stopped exercising until I see the doctor today and get on antibiotics or something to end this stupid cold or flu or whatever it is that won't go away...and I HAD had a binge on Friday afternoon (stupid but we're all human) and so at least a few of those extra lbs had been 'add ons'....anyway, there's probably a scientific reason for it.

But I don't care. I figure I got rewarded for staying the course through a very difficult day yesterday.

I find that to be the case time after time on this program. Whenever I have a really really TOUGH day, a day where it feels like I'm fighting tooth and nail to hang in there and stay OP, well, the next day I'm 'rewarded' (either on the scale or by sailing through the day, maybe having people compliment me or something, etc.) for saying NO to Fat Brain.

Anyway, whatever the reason, I'm just GLAD about it.

(And I LOVE changing my ticker, don't you?)

5.4 lbs. to go to my new goal of 157. Which of course will take me weeks yet...but that's OK. 

Because I KNOW the program works. I am living PROOF. Medifast works. It's the first program - the ONLY program - that has ever worked for me over the short-term AND the long haul.

And transition and maintenance can work as well, IF you don't overset your TEE (like I did...! careful! Go with goalx11 at first...it works) and watch yourself very carefully. Because it's so easy to get into 'delicious', as my coach Chris says. And 'delicious' is dangerous.

"Delicious" leads us to ... the food triggers that maybe got us here in the first place!  In my case I think that PB2 with chocolate was one of my triggers....(pssst....yesterday I moved it from my kitchen cupboard down to the basement. Much harder to get at now).

I started with PB2, which is OP (2 TBL = 1 allowable snack per day).
But when I got to maintenance, I quickly figured out that PB2 with chocolate was 'nearly' (but not exactly) the same thing, for the same number of calories - 45 per tablespoon. So I was using it for most, if not all, of my 'extra' calories....and then, well, the stuff can be squished down a lot (if you've ever used it, or PB2, you'll know what I mean...it's a powder) and I was squishing it down like, a LOT...so that I wound up with MORE than 2 TBL in all honesty (but I WASN'T honest with myself, I counted it as 2 TBL).

And then, 2 TBL became 4, and then 4 became 6.....and....well, you can imagine.

"ONE" is never enough for a food addict. That's the problem.
This month's Angie's List magazine has a long, interesting article about food addiction. I was amazed;  and I give Angie a lot of credit for publishing this.  They correctly talked about food addiction and how sugar, carbs and salt and junk food can exacerbate the problem.

Here's some selected quotes from that article:

Phil Werdell, director of professional training for the nonprofit Food Addiction Institute based in Sarasota, FL, and a self-described recovered food addict, says about 80 percent of processed foods now have at leat one of the three potentially addictive ingredients  (sugar, fat and alt) in them. Thirty years ago the figure was about 20 percent, he says. "People are getting addicted just by eating what would be thought to be as normal or healthy portions".  He says.

He also says:

"Food addiction is a separate disease in that certain foods actually change the brain (!!!) biochemically. So people who are addicted to sugar will crave it the same way that a cocaine addict craves cocaine". 
[Somebody's blog yesterday talked about eating what she called 'crack bars' -- some sort of oatmeal cookie -- over the holidays. Boy, she was so RIGHT ON when she called them 'crack'!!!]
Experts in food addiction say, like drug addiction, this requires a period of 'detox' -- removing or cutting back certain types of processed foods in the diet, such as those with added refined sugar, to break the cycle.Here here!  I could NOT agree more. And it's about time people started to wake up and realize that this is the case.

And you know what?
Medifast is a perfect way to 'detox' your system.

Unfortunately the article didn't provide a lot of answers.  Obviously they didn't research enough to know that Medifast is one of the ways you can 'detox' your body and start to HEAL from the food addiction disease. (I think that's exactly what it is!)

In the future, I predict (I hope, anyway) that most, if not all, of the big medical insurers will see that obesity and food addiction are DISEASES and should be classified as such, and therefore you could theoretically get reimbursed for at least part of your Medifast orders.

After all, it's just like taking a vitamin or a prescription for a disease. Let's face it! 

It's coming...slowly but surely the medical and professional associations are seeing that this food addiction 'thing' is a TREATABLE condition. It requires commitment, it requires total 'withdrawal' from the sugar and junk food....but it CAN be cured.

Unfortunately the Ange's List article didn't have a lot in the way of 'answers'.  It wound up recommending some super-expensive spa in Charlotte (and she referenced the institute in Florida as well)...and that's not doable for 90% of us that can't afford it or live where we just can't get there.

But the article DID properly talk about how food addiction is REAL (even though the American Psychiatric Association doesn't recognize food addiction as a disorder, and they SHOULD) and how cutting back or eliminating junk food and bad carbs helps the body to detoxify itself and helps to END hunger.

We've all SEEN it to be true here. When you stop eating the junk and the sugar, the cravings -- at least the physical cravings -- CEASE.
You are no longer 'starving' all the time. Instead your body calms, and you start realizing that you should be eating to feed your physical body, give it good NUTRITION, not 'feed your head' and try to fix your life with FOOD.

That's the key, isn't it? For years I used food as my 'drug of choice'.

I would sit in my LazyBoy day after day and feel sorry for myself because I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and couldn't work anymore. I was in pain every day. I had no friends because they all were from work, an hour away. I'd watch TV and stuff myself. ALL DAY LONG. Basically not moving except to get up and walk 7 feet to the kitchen to load up on my food to bring back to my chair. I'd eat until I reached a 'food trance'....a state where I was in my own little world, and nothing could touch me, nothing could hurt me as long as I had my buddy food around. Food wouldn't let me down. It always tasted the same, it was always there for me. Until I'd reach a level of satiety, and then pass that to overfull, and then get to the point where I'd become lethargic and go to the bedroom to pass out for a few hours. Only rousing myself to do the things I absolutely HAD to do, like go grocery shopping (for MORE food), pay the bills or make dinner. I had NO life, really. Nothing to look forward to. Nowhere to go. I couldn't work anymore; therefore my life was for all practical purposes 'over' (or so I thought). I didn't want to GO anywhere or DO anything because it was just 'too much trouble'. And if I did HAVE to go anywhere, I'd hate having to get dressed up, I'd find the biggest darkest piece of clothing I could to hide as much of my fat as possible. And make myself 'invisible' so no one would take my picture or notice how big I'd gotten.

And I hated myself. I really did. I didn't know how to get out of the hole I'd dug for myself, but I knew I could do more with my life. I knew I was worth more....yet I couldn't climb out of my despair.

Medifast was like a lifeline hung in the darkness above me. I wasn't really sure it was 'real'....I still remember how positive I was that it wouldn't work, just like every other plan or program I'd tried...but I promised my husband I'd give it the full month to try because after all, it was an investment of over $300. and we aren't exactly rolling in money. 

And no one was more surprised than I when I lost 7.4 lbs the first week alone.  So I knew right then, that this was no ordinary 'diet program'. Something was happening to me...something INSIDE, in addition to the weight loss on the outside. Somewhere a little voice inside me was starting to grow and take shape, it was the voice of my self-confidence and self-love, and it urged me on. And every day I stayed OP it got a little louder, and every day I got a little stronger, and little by little my confidence grew and I started taking 'baby steps' out into the world.

I still don't have a lot of friends....except here! And I still am no social butterfly. I don't go many places....EXCEPT....I do go to the gym.

A LOT. As in I've become a 'gym nut'!

And I MISS it this week since I'm sick. I can't wait to see the doctor this afternoon, get this diagnosed and hopefully get some antibiotics or something (my DH said to me last night 'Don't leave until he GIVES you something'...LOL) and then get better and get back to my exercise schedule again.

Although exercise, like my food plan, is going to be rough to get back into and up to the level I was at again. All it takes is a week off, your body will scream at you when you go back to it. You've gotta push through that. And work back up, little by little.  That's why I've got to wait on the Spinning class until at least next Wednesday. But hopefully I'll be able to do Body Pump and flow on Thursday.

We shall see.

Bottom line? I am no longer a 'life dropout'.

Don't be a life dropout. RECLAIM your life. Work the program and try and have some faith in it. It WILL work, believe me. Try not to stress too much over it or worry about others losing faster than you or whatever nuance you can come up with (which it continually amazes me how much questioning people do of the program; they hear one krazy idea and seize on it, think 'But I'm DIFFERENT!' and suddenly they are questioning everything).  Just DO IT.  Try and relax into it, the time will pass and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish just by putting one foot in front of the other and DOING it.

It's not easy. Lord, it's not easy some days....but it's worth it.

Keep on keepin' on!